DAO: Remember Me
by TalonDragon000
Summary: A twist in the elf mage origin story. Violet realizes Alistair is her childhood crush, but has he forgotten her? And what legacy will she leave for Ferelden? DAO spoilers .
1. Taken

**DAO: Remember Me **

_This is my first fan fiction. I hope you enjoy my work and comment with much appreciated critiques. It's rated M for its graphic nature. Bioware pretty much owns everything. When in doubt, credit goes to them. :) _

_*Update! 23SEP2011* _

_A few chapters in I decided to make a fan comic version of this story. So, if you would like to check it out, here is the link (just take out the spaces): http: / / talondragon000. deviantart .com /art/Remember-Me-Comic-Cover-Ch-1-257011207_

_Enjoy! ^_^_

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><p>CH. 1 Taken<p>

Soft streams of light shone through the leaves of the vhenadahl, the tree of the people, during a cloudless summer day. The Alienage was alive with mingling neighbors as their children enjoyed a rigorous game of tag. Among them was little Violet Surana, laughing and running alongside her older Elven friends. As the youngest of the group, (just turned eight), she wasn't fast enough to catch any of them. Nevertheless, they humored her and let her run – never tagged.

Unfortunately, as all good days seem to end in the Alienage, trouble stirred in the distance. A woman's cry caused the merriment to pause and faces to turn fearful and solemn.

"Let's get inside, Violet," her mother urged, taking her hand and pulling her into the house.

"But I wanna play," Violet began to protest.

Her mother looked at her sternly. "No. Now hurry."

Her mother hurriedly closed and locked the door behind her as her father walked into the room. He too looked concerned. Violet looked at them in confusion, but slowly ventured toward the window. As her parents whispered to one another she peeked over the window pane. The woman's yelling grew louder. It was sharp and pleading. Violet didn't understand why there would still be laughter accompanying such a frightening sound. Her eyes could barely see over the window pane, even on her toes. She quickly gave up with an irritated sigh. Her curiosity would go unexplored once again. It was then that her mother yanked her away from the window.

"Violet! Stay away from the window," her mother ordered, sitting Violet on the chair at the other end of the room.

"Why, mommy? What's happening? Why can't I go play?"

Her mother looked at her warily. She crouched down and looked into her child's dark violet eyes. Stroking her dark black hair, she replied, "There are bad men outside, sweetie. I don't want you to get hurt, so you have to stay here until I tell you. Understood?"

"Yes," she said, but quickly added, "but why is someone screaming… and why are people laughing?"

Her mother sighed. "The bad men are hurting the woman outside."

"But, why?"

"They… They like it, sweetie. They like hurting us… but that will all change tomorrow." She glanced at her husband. Looking back to Violet, she said, "Tomorrow we will be traveling to a nearby Dalish camp. We will be staying with them from now on. Does that sound fun?" Her mother smiled encouragingly.

"Aren't the Dalish scary? I hear they hurt people too."

"No, no, sweetie. They protect themselves. That's different."

"Why is it different?"

"Because they only fight when bad people are trying to hurt them."

"…So, we're going away?" Violet asked, trying to grasp what her mother was telling her.

"Yes sweetie. We are going away from these bad men. That means you get to stay outside and play all day if you wish," she added, looking at the sad face her child made. No doubt, her mother assumed Violet was thinking of her friends. The news seemed to work as Violet quickly smiled and nodded. "That's a good girl," her mother said, and kissed her forehead.

* * *

><p>"Don't let go of my hand, Violet," her mother said as Violet impatiently tried to wriggle free. They had been holding hands since they left their home and she was anxious to run around, unaccompanied. She moaned in protest.<p>

Her father chuckled. "We will make camp soon, Violet. Until then, you need to hold your mother's hand." Indeed, the sun was slowly descending. "And if we are lucky, we will make it to the forest by tomorrow, but only if you behave and don't go running around all over the creation. The last thing we need is to lose you."

"I won't go far!" she whined.

"Hush, now. It won't be much longer," her mother soothed.

"…Okay…" Violet pouted.

Suddenly, she heard clacking sounds in the near distance, just ahead of the roadway. Violet looked out curiously. "What's that, mommy?"

Her mother squeezed her hand and pulled her closer. "Those are horses, child."

"Hopefully, just passing merchants…" her father whispered to her mother. He placed a hand cautiously on the hilt of the dagger he wore on his belt.

A group of scruffy looking men on horseback quickly came into view. Her father stood in front of his family when the men stopped before them.

"Well, would you lookie here…" said one of the men, the rest smiling mischievously. "A whole family of Elves. It ain't safe to wonder the roads alone, ya know." The men laughed. Violet's mother hugged her closer and her father stood guarded.

"Let us be, humans. We don't want any trouble," he said sternly.

The man shook his head. "I must insist we take you along. It's for your own good." The men started to dismount. "Elves shouldn't be left alone."

"Stay back!" her father yelled and drew his dagger.

The men continued their slow approach. "Don't do anything hasty, elf. Time to come along."

Two men lunged at Violet's father. Violet and her mother screamed as they watched her father slice at one of their chests. The man yelled and drew away, but the other had a firm grip on her father's arm. He punched him hard in the stomach and her father doubled over. Her mother started to run, ordering Violet to do the same. Two extra men grabbed her mother, though, and punched her in the cheek. Violet tried her hardest to run, but the man they had spoken to picked her up and hoisted her onto his shoulder. She screamed at the top of her lungs, kicking and punching the man as she did.

"Mommy! Daddy!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't see what was happening. All she could hear were her parent's painful screams and pleads and hard thuds as the men's fists and feet made contact.

The man holding her laughed. "You wanna see, do you?" He yanked her down to the ground, but held her arms steady. Violet watched as the gang beat her father. The two men holding her mother tore her blouse and were kneading her breasts with their filthy hands.

"Let her go!" her father screamed, trying desperately to reach his wife. As he struggled with the brutes holding him, the leader holding Violet laughed.

"He's done, boys. We'll take the girl. She'll be worth more than the whore." With that, Violet screamed at the top of her lungs as she watched the human's blade thrust into her father's back and quickly withdraw. Her father gurgled and fell lifeless to the ground. His blood slowly pooled beneath him.

"Hurry up with the whore! We have a lot of ground to cover," the leader barked, pulling Violet away. Her mother continued to plea. Violet was fortunate not to witness the rest of the abuse. Yet, she screamed for her mother, wanting to run to her. They always protected and sheltered her before; from these bad men; the men who enjoyed hurting their kind.

Today, though, it was their turn. The child wept as the leader gagged and bound her wrists. He positioned her onto the horse, mounted, and left with the rest of the gang in the direction they came. The other two men would follow soon.


	2. Runaway

**DAO: Remember Me**

_Bioware owns all the material. I hope you're enjoying my rendition of the story. :)_

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><p>Ch. 2 Runaway<p>

The sun fell into the horizon as the bandits ventured into the forest. Violet, now exhausted from whimpering and wrists sore from squirming, leaned silently against the leader. The images of her parents replayed in her mind. She wondered why they were doing this to her; where were they taking her? She shivered from the sharp breeze and longed for her parents.

"Let's stop here men," the leader announced, noticing how quickly the sky was starting to darken. "Rest up now because we won't be stopping at all tomorrow. We have a schedule to keep."

He pulled Violet off the horse and dropped her near a tree. She curled up against it, ducking her head into her knees.

"Watch the girl," the leader ordered one of his men. A campfire started in the little clearing and the men quickly settled around the heat. Violet shivered again. She wanted to be near the fire too, but didn't want to be near the bandits. Her conflicting feelings confused her and she started to whimper again.

"Aye, shut up girl!" her guard turned toward her and threw a small rock in her direction. The men laughed as she flinched. He turned back toward the fire and sat with the rest of the gang.

Violet's eyes started to tear again. _I want to go home,_ she thought to herself. Over and over she chanted silently. _I want to go home, I want to go home. _

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><p>Several days passed as the gang journeyed across Ferelden. They stopped in Lothering, but quickly continued on their way. She was not bound then, but the leader made it very clear that if she moved or spoke, he would kill her. So she remained silent. Though scared, she was somewhat gratuitous for not being bounded for a change.<p>

"Why ain't we trying to sell her here?" one of the bandits asked the leader as they started to cross the Imperial Highway.

"There ain't no good buyers here. There's a much better chance at Redcliff. At least there are nobles there."

Night fell once more and the gang resumed their routine of camp set up and tying the little elf's wrists behind her.

"You were a good little elf today," the leader chuckled. "Obedient… you're quite a prize." He stood and started making his way back to the fire. Over his shoulder he said, "We'll find you a nice noble for you tomorrow. How 'bout that?"

It wasn't long until their rowdiness escalated. The drinks they picked up in Lothering were refreshing. Meanwhile, Violet began her chant once more. "I want to go home, I want to go home." Though, as young as she was, she realized they were going to send her away with a stranger tomorrow and dreaded the idea of him being like them. Harder she prayed and willed to run away.

A gust of wind brushed against her, sending cool shivers throughout her body. It stung her raw wrists. She hated the rope that bound her and started to will for it to go away. Another gust of wind came, but this time only brushed against her wrists. Again, the air nipped her flesh, but her binds suddenly felt loose. Hesitantly, she pulled her arms apart and noticed the bind had given away. There was enough slack to wiggle her hands free. She looked up at the bandits sitting and conversing merrily around the fire. None of them seemed to be paying attention to her.

With her hands now free, she crawled behind the tree and bolted into the forest. She ran as fast as she could and didn't look back. The voices of the bandits grew softer. She couldn't stop. She knew if she did, the bandits would be after her. _Don't get tagged,_ she thought to herself. _Don't get tagged._

Finally, her little legs and lungs forced her to rest. She fell to her knees and panted heavily. Her eyes swelled hoping the bandits still hadn't noticed her absence. Violet wiped her eyes and nose on the end of her sleeve. As she stood to run once more, she looked up, into the forest. It was a lot darker without the campfire around, but the moon was full and she could still make out the silhouettes of the rocks and trees. In the distance she noticed several small yellow lights bunched together. Her curiosity and fear of the dark made her head in that direction. Slowly, she made her way toward the twinkling lights.

* * *

><p>Her feet were sore and her stomach growled, but Violet kept walking. She stood atop a mountainside and viewed the village. She did not know what she saw was the bustling village of Redcliffe. All she knew was that this was a place to hide. Nearing the village, she started to creep behind crates and barrels. Though the citizens were slowly retiring to their huts, she couldn't help but notice they were all human. Eventually, she found a stable beside the chantry where the horses were kept. There was a small shed in the back corner and she quickly snuck toward it. The door creaked as she peeked inside. The moonlight pierced through the window, laminating the shed just enough to show a blanket draped over a small pile of hay. In a matter of seconds, she was laying under the blanket, fast asleep.<p> 


	3. Friends

**DAO: Remember Me**

_This is a very short chapter, but I felt it was important to get out as soon as I could. Again, I'd love some feedback. :) _

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><p>CH. 3 Friends<p>

The shed's door creaked loudly, causing the elf to stir. For a second she forgot where she was and jumped when she noticed the unfamiliar scenery. She jumped again when a disgruntled, "Hey!" sounded at the doorway. Violet turned her head quickly and saw a little boy standing there. From the moon's light she could see his short golden hair gleaming. Just as quickly, she noticed his flat ears and recoiled nervously.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" he asked sternly. She brought her knees to her chest and stared at him. "Can you talk?" he continued, steadily coming closer. She blinked. "Do you speak Fereldan?" he asked slower. She blinked and nodded twice.

Suddenly, her stomach gurgled and growled. She wrapped her arms around it, as if trying to quiet it. It was too late though, the little boy heard it. "You're hungry…" he said, looking at her arms clasping her waist. He looked back at the elf's face. It was dirty and her hair slightly matted.

"Where are your parents? Aren't they feeding you?" The girl shook her head and started to cry. The boy frowned. "Wait here," he said, and left the shed.

Violet sat anxiously. She didn't know what the boy would do, but she didn't want to go outside. So, she sat and waited for him to return. When the boy arrived, the shed filled with a familiar aroma and her mouth started watering. He pulled out a hunk of cheese and stretched his arm out to her. "Here," he said. She started to move hesitantly. He wiggled it encouragingly. She finally took it from him and began to munch on it hungrily.

The boy chuckled. "You know, you look like a rabbit when you eat. Especially with those ears," he said, pointing to them. She smiled meekly as she chewed. "You know… if you don't tell me your name, I'm going to call you Rabbit from now on," he jested. Violet frowned and shook her head. "No? Then tell me your name." She looked down shyly. "It's not that hard, you know. My name's Alistair. See? Your turn."

She swallowed. "… Ali-star?" she said, attempting to say his name.

"No, Ali-stair. Er, er!" he corrected.

"Ali…starrr…" she tried again.

He sighed. "Close enough. Now what's yours?"

She bit her lip nervously. "…Violet."

"Violet," he repeated.

"Um… tanks for the cheese. It's yummy…" she said and commenced nibbling.

"It's okay. I'll take care of you now," he told her proudly. "You can sleep here and I'll bring you food."

"…Why?" she asked. She was genuinely curious why a human would want to help her.

"Because you're my pet now," he smiled mischievously. "My pet rabbit."

"I'm not a rabbit!" Violet whined. The boy laughed.

"I'm kidding. You're my friend. That's why."

"You're my… friend?"

"Yep." He nodded.

"…But… I'm an elf," she frowned.

"So? I like elves. I think your ears are fun." He wiggled the tips of his ears with his fingers. "I want ears like you. My ears are boring."

Then, in what seemed like ages, the little girl laughed.


	4. Mage

**DAO: Remember Me**

_Thank you to everyone who subscribed and commented. I also thank all of you for taking an interest in my version of the story. All critiques are welcome. _

CH. 4 Mage

"Violet," Alistair called out to her. Violet looked around. Everywhere she looked was a blurry dark grey. "Violet," he called again.

"Alistair!" she replied. She took a couple steps forward, searching for him. _Why can't I think straight?_ she wondered. Something was wrong.

Taking another step forward she kicked a hard surface. She stretched her hands out to find an invisible wall. "What?" she muttered in confusion. Stretching her arms out again, she noticed the walls had closed around her. She was trapped at all four sides. "Alistair!" she called again. "Help, I can't get out!"

Just then, a beam of light pierced through the darkness above her head. She quickly looked up to find a little boy with golden hair looking down at her.

"There you are!" he sounded exasperated. "You're a really good hider. If you hadn't answered me I wouldn't have found you."

She started to tear, overwhelmed with relief. "I don't want to play hide and seek anymore…" she cried. Violet didn't know why she was saying that. It had been years since she played that game.

"Okay, Violet," he sighed. He looked just as relieved to have found her.

He reached down to her. She stood up, just noticing she was on her knees. She decided, then, that she would always stay by Alistair's side. She stretched her hand toward the light; toward him.

Her eyes fluttered open and noticed a young man with wavy black hair leaning over her.

"Are you all right? Say something, please," he said. She wondered if it was because she was crying. She wiped her face, but it was dry.

She looked up at the man. "Jowan?" she said, finally recognizing who he and where she was. _Does that mean… it was a dream?_ she thought to herself. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment and embarrassment. How long had it been since she saw Alistair? _Ten years_, she answered silently. She shouldn't still be having dreams of him. It was so long ago, but she couldn't forget him. He most certainly would have by now.

"I'm glad you're all right. They carried you in this morning," Jowan continued as she stood from her bunk. "I didn't even realize you had been gone all night."

_I've been gone all night?_ she wondered, still thinking to herself.

"I've heard of apprentices who never come back from Harrowings," he said. "Is it really that dangerous? What was it like?" he asked eagerly.

_That's right_, she thought. _I just finished the Harrowing…_ She looked at him, finally remembering the trials in the Fade and her various encounters.

"It was… harrowing," she laughed. _I see why they call it that now,_ she thought.

"Is that why they don't tell us what it's about?" Jowan asked in awe.

He babbled on, inquiring about the Harrowing and egging her to tell. She was tempted to gossip with her friend, but held it in. They developed their own mischievous childhood at the Circle Tower playing pranks on Templars and such, but Jowan always trailed behind instead of leading. She smiled, remembering Alistair was just the opposite, coming up with new ways to harass those in the Chantry. She wondered if he became a Templar as well, but frowned when she realized they could be rivals.

Jowan thought her frown was due to his persistence. "I shouldn't waste your time with this," he sighed. "I was supposed to tell you to see Irving as soon as you woke up."

"What for?" she asked in dismay. Wasn't she done with the Harrowing?

"He didn't tell me. About the Harrowing, I'd guess, but you never know with Irving."

She nodded, imagining all the secrets and mystery he held. She could never quite figure the old mage out.

Upon entering Irving's quarters, she noticed Irving and the old Templar, Knight-Commander Greagior, having another one of their squabbles. The issue at-hand would always be different, but their positions never changed.

She stayed silent, waiting patiently for their little dispute to end. Eaves dropping on the two men used to be a frequent game with Jowan and her, but the banters grew repetitive and so ceased to hold their interest.

"Gentlemen, please. Irving, someone is here to see you," said an unfamiliar face. He was tall and dark, with brown hair pulled into a small ponytail. He had an air of confidence about him. She wondered if it was because of his thick beard, armor, and weapons.

"You sent for me?" she asked Irving, eyeing the stranger's get-up curiously.

"Ah, if it isn't our new sister in the Circle." He smiled. "Come child."

"This is…?" the dark man started to ask.

"Aye, this is she," Irving finished.

She looked at them suspiciously. It may be hard to figure out what Irving is thinking, but she could always tell when he thought of something secretly amusing.

Greagior left the room and Irving commenced with introductions. She found out his name was Duncan, a Grey Warden there to recruit new mages for the army. She flushed in excitement. The mages that were already helping the army were able to leave the tower. If she were lucky enough to be recruited… she started to picture the old chantry, the stable, the shed… Alistair. Could she find him there? The only problem was that she didn't remember which village it was.

She escorted Duncan to his room, bemusing herself with wishful thinking. Her fantasies were interrupted, though, when Jowan stopped her after leaving Duncan's room.

"I'm glad I caught up to you," he said, all seriousness in his eyes. He was always an apprehensive child (mostly worrying about getting caught during their childhood adventures), but this time she knew he was deeply troubled. "I need to talk to you."

She followed him down the hallway to a more secluded area. All the while, she hoped her friend was all right.


	5. Impressions

**DAO: Remember Me**

_I'd like to stress again that Bioware owns all the materials of this fan fiction. I hope you're enjoying my rendition. :) _

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><p>Ch. 5 Impressions<p>

Violet's heart beat heavily in her chest. Her ears and cheeks were probably brimming red. Maker knows it was extremely warm. Her whole body felt warm. She took deep breaths with every stride as she made her way across Ostagar's camp.

_It can't be him… Duncan must be talking about another Alistair… it's just a coincidence, _she thought nervously. She fisted her hands to stop herself from fidgeting. _Get a grip, Violet. You're working yourself up for nothing. What are you expecting anyway?_

She pictured little Alistair's golden hair shining in the moonlight the night they first met. She couldn't imagine what he would look like ten years later.

She trudged up the stone ramp leading to the wing the entrance guard directed. _Besides, _she thought, _he won't remember you. He was only a few years older than you when you left. _

She walked cautiously up the other stone ramp, now hearing voices in the distance. Her heartbeat quickened. _Calm Down! _She scolded. _Dear Maker… Breathe! _

When she halted in front of the two men conversing, however, she drew breath, and did forget to breathe for a moment. Short golden hair, dark irises, a quirky grin… older and with more facial hair now, but it was him. Her chest felt heavy and she wondered why her head was spinning. It was then that she realized she was holding her breath. Carefully, she began to breathe once more, trying desperately not to seem like she was about to fall over.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," he said to her when the mage he was conversing with left.

"I know what you mean." She smiled automatically. _Wait… _she thought. _What in the world am I saying! _She gulped, hoping she didn't sound like a fool.

"It's like a party." He smiled. "We could all stand around a circle and hold hands. That would give the Darkspawn something to think about," he laughed.

Violet giggled too. She was glad his imagination and goofiness hadn't left him. Many of her fellow mages, growing up at the Circle, decided to mature away from such silly comments. It made her transition from child to young adult almost awkward.

"Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?"

She flushed, but hoped he hadn't noticed. What could she say? _Yes, actually. We met when we were young back at a Chantry and I am now an official mage._ She could tell him right then. It would be the perfect segue. Something kept her from revealing it, though. For some reason, she wanted him to remember her. She wanted to know he hadn't forgotten her all those years.

"I am indeed a mage," she said, instead.

"Really? You don't look like a mage. Uh… that is… I mean… how interesting," he looked at her quizzically.

She tilted her head in wonder. _I don't look like a mage?_ She questioned. _…I'm… interesting? _She honestly didn't know what to make of it.

"Wait, I do know who you are," he realized. Her heart fluttered. "You're Duncan's new recruit from the Circle of Magi," he laughed under his breath. "I should have recognized you right away, I apologize."

Violet sighed. _That's right, I'm the new recruit. _She didn't like how that came to be. She had hoped Duncan would just see her later the day of his visit and make a special invitation; a simple affair. It was unfortunate to have fallen into that position after being caught helping her friend Jowan escape from the Circle. _Careful Jowan… How could he have been so reckless? Forbidden love and… blood magic? _

"That's all right, no offense taken," she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Good. You didn't exactly catch me at my finest with the mage there." He smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Alistair, the new Grey Warden."

Her heart fluttered again. _It may give him a hint, _she thought. _Will it work? _

"Pleased to meet you," she said. "My name is Violet."

She watched his expression carefully.

"Right, that was the name," he said. Her heart nearly sank. _Maybe he did forget… _

"You know, it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?"

Violet smirked. "You want more women in the Wardens, do you?" She couldn't help herself. He fell right into that one.

"Would that be so terrible? Not that I'm some drooling lecher or anything. Please stop looking at me like that," he quickly added, seeing her grin.

They continued to converse before heading back to Duncan.

_He USED to be a Templar, _she thought to herself. She quickly glanced over her shoulder to find him trailing behind. _I suppose I wasn't too far off with my imaginations then. _A smile crept onto her lips as she realized he was even more handsome than she had imagined and grateful their reunion wasn't as rivals, but soon to be partners.


	6. Loss

**DAO: Remember Me**

_I decided to try something longer. I hope you all like it. Please let me know if you want me to make adjustments on my writing style or pace of the story. Thank you. :) _

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><p>Ch. 6 Loss<p>

Alistair sat by the fire, staring at it in a daze. He was thumbing the petals of a rose he picked up in Redcliffe* yesterday. He thought back on the previous night as he, Violet, Leliana, and Violet's mabari helped to defend the village. After leaving the chantry, he ventured silently to the stables in the back. Along the fence, a healthy rose bush thankfully remained, now in bloom. Thinking of the battle ahead, he picked the brightest and fullest rose of the bunch and tucked it safely in his pack.

The battle was a long one, lasting most of the night. The undead creatures seemed to be appearing from every direction. Alistair did his best not to tire. Now and then he glanced in Violet's direction, ready to cut down skeletons that may be sneaking up from behind. Violet seemed able to sense their presence though. As she turned around, her eyes held a vibrant violet glow and her hands and staff shimmered with the same aura. With just a flick of her wrist, the skeleton flew backwards and landed shattered in front of Alistair's feet. It was a wonder to watch her fight. Her movements were as graceful as a ballet.

_Beauty, _he thought, still thumbing the rose's petals, _amongst the darkness. _He glanced across the fire to gaze at Violet's tent. About an hour had passed since she decided to retire.

Alistair sighed. "What am I doing?" he muttered. _I know it's her, but I thought I moved on, _he thought.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking warily back at the fire. It danced and crackled, almost mocking him. _She left you, Alistair; without as much as a good-bye. That's why you decided not to mention anything in Ostagar. _

He sighed again angrily. _You're forgiving her though, aren't you? It was so long ago… she was just a kid. She probably doesn't remember you anyway. _He tucked the rose back into his pack.

He laid down on the grass and looked up at the stars. The night was clear and the moon was a soft crescent. The moon was laughing at him too.

_Ostagar… _he thought sadly.

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><p>"One more floor!" Alistair had yelled as he, Violet, and the army mage and guard climbed the last flight of steps. His skin prickled as he sensed a large Darkspawn roaming the fourth floor of the Tower of Ishal. "Let's go!"<p>

They burst the door open to find an ogre munching on the last of the guards. It turned its gaze on the small group and roared.

Alistair and the guard yelled mighty battle cries as they charged toward the ogre. They hacked and slashed away at his legs. Violet tensed and swiftly raised her staff. The ogre froze, Alistair and the guard still slashing at his legs and stomach. The mage assisted with more ice attacks to keep the ogre frozen. Violet placed her staff on her back and stretched out her arms. Electricity scorched through the ogre's body and he bellowed in pain. The men continued to slash beneath it; the mages heavily upheld their spells. The ogre fisted the ground with two hands, causing the ground to quake violently and forcing the group onto their backs. Alistair looked up to find the ogre picking up a huge boulder. The creature's eyes were focused on the Elven mage.

"Look out!" he yelled to Violet. She was on her knees when the ogre hurled the boulder. She gasped and jumped out of the way, rolling back to her feet.

Alistair's heart pounded. _That was close, _he breathed. A new surge of energy coursed through his veins. He screamed angrily, charging at the ogre once more. He leapt into the air, as high as he could, and thrust his sword into the ogre's neck. The Darkspawn roared in agony and toppled over. Alistair slashed its throat again before shoving his blade a final time into his neck for good measure. Blood spewed from the deep wound and splattered across Alistair's face and armor.

"Light the beacon!" he called as he jumped off the corpse.

Violet ran to the beacon and quickly lit it. The group then hurried to the window overlooking the battle grounds.

"Come on…" Alistair growled, waiting for Loghain's men to aid. A minute later, the group witnessed the army's retreat. "What!" Alistair slammed his hands against the window pane. "What in Andraste's name are they doing?" he yelled.

"Alistair!" Violet yelled. He turned around, but a swift knock to the head made him fall weakly to the ground. _Violet… _he thought, as his world faded to black.

Alistair's body tingled as he began to stir. It wasn't his Darkspawn sense, rather, a relieving feeling as his wounds started to heal.

He slowly opened his eyes to find the old woman they met earlier in the wilds leaning over him. "What-?" he began, but she quickly hushed him.

"Do not move, lest you reopen your wounds before I have a chance to properly seal them," Flemeth said.

"Where am I?" he asked, roaming his eyes around to see the mass of trees surrounding them.

"You're back at my hut, lad," the old woman said, matter-of-factly.

Suddenly he remembered the battled at the tower.

"Violet!" he said with concern and began to sit up. A piercing feeling stabbed his ribs and he laid back down.

"Did I not tell you to hold still? Yes, I did," she said in an annoyed tone.

"But, what about-"

"Your Warden is recovering in the hut," she said flatly. "Morrigan is tending her. She will emerge when she has woken."

"Oh," he said, still a bit concerned. _She hasn't woken yet… _

"Um… Thank you," he said when she finally allowed him to sit up.

"Don't thank me just yet. Your Warden hasn't come to."

Alistair grew pale. He walked to the edge of the swamp and sat down, staring into the water.

_Duncan… _he thought. The battle scene was returning to him now. Alistair was too high up to make out any particular bodies in the tower, but from his view he could tell it wasn't going well.

"Could you tell me, Flemeth, what happened at Ostagar?" He braced himself. He honestly didn't want to hear it. He wanted to keep believing everyone was okay; that Duncan was okay.

"It was a massacre," she said bluntly. "There are no survivors. Those who weren't hacked away were dragged underground by the Darkspawn." He held his breath and his chest ached.

"Loghain's men… they deserted us, didn't they?" his eyes stung and his voice grew hoarse. He was shaking with anger. Slowly, tears fell down his cheeks.

"If you call the mass of soldiers leaving the battle field without as much as a rock thrown at the Darkspawn, then yes. I take it that wasn't the plan."

"Sodding bastards!" he yelled, chucking a rock into the swamp.

He brushed his hands through his hair angrily and then dropped his head into his propped arm. He wept for his comrades, his brothers and sisters, and for Duncan.

_Violet… _he thought again. _Maker please let her be all right. _

He hadn't realized how worried he was for her. It was years since she left the Chantry to live at the Circle Tower. He thought he could forget her after all those years, but the dreams wouldn't go away. Now and then the day of hide and seek replayed for him. He was only ten then, but it didn't take long for him to warm up to her. For some reason, he felt it was his duty to protect her and care for her. The day he lost her was horrifying. He looked all over the Chantry and even ventured into town. Eventually, he started to panic and called out for her. It seemed like hours passed before he heard a faint voice calling from inside the chantry well. How she thought it was a good idea to hide there, he didn't know. He was angry, but relieved, only to turn angry again when he couldn't pull her back up himself. He retrieved a brother from the Chantry and paced impatiently. Violet was crying her eyes out as the brother set her down.

"I don't want to play anymore!" she cried. He looked down at her angrily. The brother kept quiet, seeing it wasn't necessary.

"No, we aren't playing hide and seek anymore," Alistair scolded. "It's too dangerous."

"I'm sorry," Violet said, sniffing. She got up and hugged Alistair tightly. "I'm sorry."

Alistair hugged her tightly. "From now on, don't leave me, okay?"

He felt Violet nod. "Okay," she said softly.

A week later, he woke up to find her missing. Once again he searched the Chantry. He asked all of the residents of the Chantry of her whereabouts, but none would speak, let alone look at him. He grew frustrated by the minute, but eventually, one of the brothers pulled him aside.

"She's gone to the Circle Tower, Alistair. She… She's a mage," he said sadly.

Alistair was confused. "How do you know?" he asked, but the brother wouldn't tell him.

Many days passed and he took his anger out on her. He wished she had kept it a secret, or told him, or at least said good-bye. Now and then he thought he was glad she was gone. He wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. He figured she was too excited to go to say good-bye to him.

Alistair wiped his eyes, starting to calm down. He looked into the murky water and reminisced of the following nights he sat in the shed alone.

When Violet finally emerged from the hut, he didn't know how he would react. He prepared himself for something friendly, yet relieved, but melted instead. Her eyes were back to a dark violet, but the sun still made them sparkle. Her pale skin seemed to glow. If it weren't for the various bandages wrapped around her he would have forgotten she was badly injured. The closer she stepped toward him the harder his heart pounded.

"You're all right," he breathed. She nodded and smiled meekly.

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><p>Alistair felt himself growing tired. He got up to gather his things and made his way to his tent.<p>

"Maybe tomorrow…" he whispered to himself. "Maybe I'll give it to her tomorrow."

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><p>*<em>I know he picked it up in Lothering, but I wanted it to be from the Chantry in Redcliffe instead. <em>


	7. Reunited

_Special thanks to Brelaina for beta reading my story and reviewing. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. :) _

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><p>Ch. 7 Reunited<p>

It was another clear night. The stars twinkled and the moon continued its bright smile. Violet sighed as she listened to Leliana's tale of Alindra. She thought it was a sad story, but Leliana's voice was soothing and reassuring. Violet wondered if Leliana truly believed Alindra will one day cross the river; to be with her love once more.

"That was a beautiful story," she told Leliana. The girls were sitting near the fire. The atmosphere was so peaceful that Violet didn't want the night to end. _Sodding Darkspawn, _she thought. Her smile was bittersweet. If it wasn't for the blight, she would still be at the tower. Despite the danger, she really enjoyed their little adventure – especially during nights like these.

"Sometimes I ask myself, does such a love exist? Can it exist?" Leliana admitted.

Violet looked thoughtfully into the fire. "If we lose hope in love, then we are truly lost."

She remembered her nights at the Chantry. Violet had terrible nightmares of her parents and the bandits almost every night. She never got to tell Alistair how much it meant for him to be there. He would calmly shake her awake while calling her name. When she came too, he let her bury her face in his chest and cry. She loved how he patiently sat there and held her. He would stroke her hair and whisper that everything was all right. When she was finally ready to go back to sleep, he laid down next to her and let her nestle into his arm. The first time she woke up curled around his arm was unintentional. Apparently, she had a nightmare and grabbed him in her sleep. A couple more nights of that prompted her to just assume the position before closing her eyes.

Sleeping never felt right since she left the Chantry. She sought comfort from her fellow apprentices, but no one was as willing or as understanding as he was. Even Jowan, despite how close they became, would simply tell her she was dreaming and to go back to sleep. Those nights were always restless ones. If it weren't for the few dreams of Alistair between nightmares, she might not have been able to manage it on her own. They were the only things that kept her sane and her morals in check. The Templars weren't exactly a sentimental bunch.

There was also that childish hope that she would return to him one day, just like Alindra and her soldier. She wanted to grow brave and strong, to remember to laugh, just like Alistair. That is why she not only had fun testing the Templars, she felt it was her duty. It kept them both on their toes.

When Leliana said the story of Alindra was one of her favorites Violet silently decided it would be hers too.

"I never thought you would say that. It is… a pleasant surprise." Leliana was smiling.

Violet's cheeks flushed. "Don't tell the others I said that," she said quickly. Since Alistair made her "leader" of the group she had been trying to act more independent and confident. She was silently trying to prove to Alistair that she was worthy of the position he granted her – even though she accepted it reluctantly at first.

Leliana giggled. "Of course not. It will be our secret." Violet let out a sigh of relief.

"I have to say, there is a certain severity to you," Leliana continued. "Finding a person behind that all is nice. Maybe you should let your softer side out more often. Sometimes following your heart, not your head, leads you to remarkable places."

Violet nodded thoughtfully. Being in a leadership position was still very new to her and she had trouble deciding whether to follow her heart or head on multiple occasions. More often than not, she tried to follow her heart, but to also justify her actions with logical and practical reasons. She did worry if that approach would come around to bite her in the "arse" one day, but it seemed Leliana was encouraging it.

"Um… Violet?" Alistair said as he approached the girls. He was dressed comfortably in a simple white long sleeved shirt and brown pants. "May we talk for a moment?"

Violet could feel her face getting hot, but she tried her best to repress it. "Of course," she said in the most authoritative tone she could muster. She thought it was best not to jump to assumptions and treat his request as one of business. She thanked Leliana for her story and followed Alistair to the edge of the clearing.

"So, what would you like to discuss?" she asked calmly; even as her heart began to race.

"Well… We'll be nearing the Circle Tower soon and I… um…" Alistair looked like he was struggling to find the right words. Violet tilted her head out of habit. "I wanted to see if you are all right. I know the Circle Tower isn't exactly a walk in the park for mages."

Violet grinned. "So, you're worried about me?"

"Yes, of course I am. You- are my traveling companion and fellow Grey Warden," he said, seeming to build his self-confidence back.

"Yes, I think I will be all right. It's not like we are planning to stay long anyway," she giggled.

"You know… you never told me about your childhood," Alistair said, a bit reluctant. "I've told you about my dreary childhood and we've just recently discovered my future circumstance."

Violet took a deep breath. _Is he testing me? How much should I reveal? _She wondered.

"There isn't much to say," she started. "I spent most of my life at the Circle Tower. I didn't love it there, but I had friends and I learned to control my powers. My friend Jowan and I would bother the Templars guarding our doorway at night." She chuckled. "I once turned one into a toad – on accident of course," she quickly added when she saw Alistair's face pale. "But, such antics are frowned upon and after being beaten for my crime we stopped playing tricks. Needless to say, living there became a lot duller after that."

"See, I knew mages go around turning people into toads," Alistair laughed.

"I never denied it," she said coyly.

Alistair cleared his throat nervously. "But, what about before you went to the Circle? Do you remember?"

She thought for a moment before replying. "That story is a bit… depressing… Are you sure you want to know?"

"Only if you are comfortable telling me," he said seriously.

She looked at the ground and played with a patch of weeds with her foot. "Up until I was eight, I grew up with my parents at the Alienage in Denerim. I don't remember much, but I know my mom would call me into the house a lot and hid me away whenever shem- um… humans came to visit. My parents decided to leave the Alienage and travel to a Dalish Camp that had settled nearby. But…" She bit her lip nervously and continued to stare at the ground.

She remembered telling him the story after she woke from her first nightmare all those years ago. Until then, he was friendly, but kept his distance. However, when she revealed her past, he held her tightly. From then on he kept her close. _Except for the day I left_, she thought sadly.

"But a group of bandits attacked us on the road. I… I watched them murder my father. My mother was raped. I didn't really see it, but I heard her pleas. I'm sure they killed her when they were done. As for me, I was tied up and was going to be sold off. Somehow I escaped and ran to the first village I could find. I stayed at a Chantry for two years before they found out I had magic and whisked me away to the Circle tower."

Finally she looked up at Alistair. His eyes were sad and he remained quiet. "If… it weren't for a little boy I met at that Chantry, I don't know what would have happened to me." She watched Alistair's surprised expression. "You remind me of him." Her heart was beating heavily. She was certain her cheeks were blushing. Violet wondered if she was saying too much. _Follow your heart, _she thought.

"He took me in, would teased me a little, but was always there to comfort me." She watched Alistair smile, but his eyes seemed longing and still a bit sad. "He taught me to laugh again. To this day, I hope to find him and tell him thank you… for everything." She stared into his eyes, waiting.

"I believe… you just did," he said softly.

"You!" she gasped and punched his arm.

"Ow! Hey, what was that for?" Alistair rubbed his arm and looked at her with confusion.

"You knew! And you didn't say anything?" Her face was red with embarrassment, but she fought harder to hide her excited smile.

"All right, I'm sorry. I just… wanted to make sure."

She couldn't hold it anymore. She shook her head and quickly wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. "I thought you forgot about me," she muttered. She closed her eyes tight to suppress her tears.

Then, he held her and rested his head on hers. His arms squeezed her tightly, just as she remembered it. "I couldn't forget about you… and I hated the day you left." She couldn't hold her tears back anymore.

Alistair pulled away, but still had his arms around her. "Are you all right?"

Violet nodded. She sniffled and wiped the last of her tears away. "I'm sorry… I expected my reaction to be more… subtle," she laughed, but Alistair's face was sad.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a mage? Didn't you trust me? And how could you leave without saying good-bye?"

Her face grew somber. "So, no one at the Chantry told you?" she asked.

Alistair looked confused again. "…Didn't tell me what?"


	8. Crush

_I'm so excited! So many people to thank! First, thank you to Sharem, Loecy, HorseyAngel, I Hear The Acid's lovely, Brelaina, Arselbengt, Parliament of Ravens, R. A. Lyon, Kirabaros, kallmered, and AresxBellona for your story alert subscriptions. Second, thank you I-dont-like-pen-names, R. A. Lyon, Kirabaros, and AresxBellona for favoriting my story. Third, thank you I-dont-like-pen-names, Brelaina, Kirabaros, kallmered, and AresxBellona for your reviews. Finally, thank you to Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader. *Squee!* :D_

_Okay, on with the story! ^_^_

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><p>Ch. 8 Crush<p>

Violet squinted as a bright ray of sunshine beamed through the shed's window. She rubbed her eyes and rolled over to find Alistair still asleep next to her. She smiled, watching him sleep for a moment. He was snoring softly. She thought he looked so peaceful. Two years had passed since their first encounter and a week had passed since his heroic rescue at the well. She felt a sudden urge to do something for him – something to thank him and show how much she cared for him. She thought hard. Her stomach growled and she quickly hunched over, grabbing her stomach to stifle the sound. She didn't want to wake him up just yet.

She gasped excitedly as she realized the perfect thing to show him her thanks. She slowly slipped off the hay stack, carefully watching Alistair as she did to ensure she didn't wake him. After quickly brushing off some stray strands of hay from her dress she tip toed out of the shed and hurried toward the kitchen. The Chantry was still. She figured the brothers and sisters would be awake soon though to prepare for the day.

The sun's rays pierced through one of the windows and lit the statue of Andraste behind the Alter. She looked around again, checking for any movement, and then crept toward the statue. As an elf, she was always self conscious about associating with the human gods because they were (more or less) forced to back in Denerim, but she was in an especially good mood that day and figured she could make one exception.

She looked up at the woman's face. The features were so detailed that it felt almost eerie to stand before it. She had a sudden urge to run before the statue actually dropped her head to look at her with her pale eyes. Violet shook her head to rid herself of the foolish image. There was a reason she wanted to be there, and she wasn't going to let a childish fantasy scare her away. She clasped her hands together and continued to look at the statue.

"Lady Andraste," she whispered, "…um… Thank you for helping me escape from the bad men. Um… thank you for helping me find this Chantry. And thank you for Alistair." She dropped her hands and smiled at the statue. She thought the woman was smiling back at her.

"Okay, then," she muttered. She hurried over to the kitchen and peeked inside. The room was unoccupied as well, but she figured she wouldn't have much time. On her way to the back door she grabbed one of the stools in the corner and carried it with her. She closed the door behind her and positioned the stool next to the water pump. There was a table against the wall that had several dirty pots stacked upon it. She gathered as much as she could carry and placed them by her stool. It took her multiple trips, but she finally had them all piled on the ground. Violet then laid a long towel out next to her. She stopped for a moment to look around. She was forgetting something.

"Soap!" she said and went back into the kitchen. She searched all over the kitchen, but couldn't find it.

"And just what in Andraste's name are you doing here?" came a stern voice. Violet jumped and looked to the doorway to find Sister Linda standing there.

Violet turned to the young brunette meekly. "I… am looking for the soap… I wanted to scrub the pots…" she said quietly.

Sister Linda raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want to do that? You know that's Alistair's job; not yours. You tend the garden outside with Sister Renee."

The little elf looked down and bit her cheek before continuing. "I… wanted to do it for him… so he doesn't have to today."

The woman was still confused. "And why is that, may I ask?"

"I wanted to do something nice for him… to say thank you for being nice to me and helping me."

Sister Linda smiled coyly and crouched down so they were at eye level. "Are you sure it isn't because you have a crush on him?" Her light blue eyes shimmered with amusement.

Violet's eyes widened and she blushed. "No!" she protested, but something gnawed at her heart. She cared for Alistair very much, but she didn't understand what adult crushes were. Perhaps she did have a crush?

"Tell me, little one. Do you care for him very much?" Sister Linda asked, still smiling.

"Yes," Violet replied immediately.

"Do you always want to be with him? You don't want him to ever go away?"

"Yes," she said again, just as quickly.

"And would you be sad if he played with another girl more than with you?"

"Yes!" she huffed. She didn't like the thought of having someone take him away from her.

The sister giggled. "Would you say you love him?"

Violet's eyes softened as she grew pensive. She thought about her parents then; how they held her in their arms at night. As they cradled her and her mother sang sweet lullabies they would look at her with warm smiles. Just before she drifted off to sleep, her parents would always tell her in their most tender voice, "I love you, little one." In a soft whisper as she closed her eyes, she would reply, "I love you too," and nestled into her mother's arms.

Then, she thought of Alistair; how she cuddled close to him every night. How he stroked her hair and comforted her after her nightmares. She felt safe next to him and tailed behind him whenever she could.

Most of the time they were doing chores around the Chantry, but when they had time to play, he never ceased to amuse her. Sister Linda had given her two ragged dolls for her birthday once. She ran to show Alistair immediately and asked him to play as the brave knight while she pretended her doll was a damsel in distress. He was reluctant at first, but she persisted and he eventually humored her. They quickly made it a priority to play with them every day after their chores. Alistair made sure of that.

Violet loved that Alistair played with her so much. Even when he wanted to sneak around to play tricks he let her tag along. He was hesitant to let her follow at first with this too, telling her that she wouldn't be sneaky enough. He learned that her stealth and senses were a lot better than his, though (especially at night), and quickly took advantage of that. He soon nicknamed her "partner in crime," which she accepted proudly. He would be known as "Mr. Stealth." Violet giggled when he claimed that name because he was always the one who tripped over a vase or walked into a door during their "missions." Obviously, the loud noise would alert the Chantry folk and they would catch the children in the act.

Alistair had become her new family and she felt that nothing would ever change that. Her parents taught her to always love her family and friends because they would always protect and care for her. She pictured Alistair as her older brother. Up until now, that is. She couldn't deny it. She did love him. Was it a crush though? She wasn't sure.

"I love him," she said, finally.

Sister Linda sighed at the sincerity of the ten-year-old's reply. She leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You know, you could marry him when you're older." She pulled back and watched with amusement as the little elf's eyes lit up.

"But I'm an elf!" she exclaimed.

"Nothing stops true love," Sister Linda said simply.

Violet blinked. "…Does that mean Alistair and I could live happily ever after? Like in the stories?" She thought of the princesses that would marry and live in a big castle with their prince. The pictures in the books Sister Linda read to her looked so lovely. She wouldn't mind having the same ending one day.

Violet grew excited when Sister Linda nodded. "I'd really like that," she squealed.

"You'd really like what?" Alistair said sleepily from the doorway. He was rubbing one of his eyes as he entered the kitchen.

"Oh! Nothing!" Violet replied. She fidgeted with the seam of her dress. She wondered why she was so nervous. She was usually so comfortable around him.

Alistair eyed her suspiciously. Sister Linda noticed, though, and said, "I was just asking her to run to the store and buy more soap." She placed a couple silver coins into Violet's hand. "No detours, okay? Come straight back." Violet smiled, gave her a confident nod, and was just about to reach for Alistair's hand when Mother Eloise's voice shrieked Alistair's name. The three flinched. "I suppose you better see her, Alistair."

He looked at Violet nervously, then back to Sister Linda. "What about Violet?"

"She will be fine. The store is just across the street." She patted his head as she stood up. "Best be on your way now. Both of you," she said, and ushered them out of the kitchen.

Alistair looked back at Violet for a moment and said, "You heard her. Straight back okay?"

Violet smiled. "Promise." He smiled back. A hint of uneasiness lingered in his gaze, but another call from Mother Eloise forced him to turn and jog away.


	9. Goodbye

_Thank you AresxBellona and Brelaina for your review. Now I'm glad I waited to post this chapter. (Teehee :D) Again, thank you Brelaina for being my beta reader. Oh! I also just recieved my Wacom Tablet. Deviations on the way! ^_^ _

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><p>Ch. 9 Good-bye<p>

Violet held the bar of soap tightly in her clasped hands. Although it was wrapped in paper, she still wanted to be careful not to drop it. She hummed to herself as she made her way back to the Chantry. The village was full with life that day and she looked around in awe. She only stepped beyond the Chantry gates to tag along during errand runs. It was thrilling for her to venture on her own for a change. As excited as it was, though, she wanted to hurry back to Alistair.

She was so caught up day dreaming that she didn't notice the rowdy gang of men coming her way. One of the men accidentally bumped into her and she landed hard on her rear. The man heard the pitiful yelp and looked down in time to watch the little girl fall. She winced as she rubbed where it stung and throbbed.

"Oh! I'm so –" he began to apologize, but stopped himself as soon as he noticed her ears. "Oh," he said flatly. He staggered and took a swig from the bottle he held. "Just a sodding elf girl."

Violet looked up at him angrily. "You have to say sorry!" she said sternly.

The man was back to conversing with his fellow drunkards, but the command drew all of their attention.

"What did you say to me, elf?" he said, turning back to her. His voice was raspy. His hair was a dirty blonde and unkempt. Stubble was growing on his chin. His eyes were small and piercing as he glared at her. He held up his bottle to one of his friends and the man took it from him.

She felt herself starting to recoil. Those eyes… they bore into her. They reminded her. "You… have to say sorry," she said, softer. She didn't know if she should have said anything at all, but the sisters at the Chantry had taught her to always apologize for ill behavior; even if it wasn't her fault. She didn't think there were exceptions.

"Why you little sod!" He picked her up by the front of her dress. The soap she held fell to the ground. She screamed and started to claw at the man's hands, trying desperately to get away. "Know your place, elf!" he yelled and brought up his hand to strike her.

Violet was shaking with fear. The bandit leader's face flashed in her mind. Her mother and father's cries echoed in her ears. The blood, the smell, everything came rushing back in a wave of fury. Her body grew warm and tense. She could feel an energy flowing through her. It gave her strength.

"No!" she yelled, held out a hand, and watched as bolts of lightning shot toward his face. He screamed, let her go, and staggered backward. He gripped his face in agony before passing out.

Her hands still sparked and crackled with electricity. She was sitting on the ground, panting heavily, bewildered. _What did I do?_ Her whole body continued to tremble.

The sound of clanking armor grew louder, but Violet paid no mind. Instead, she stared dumbfounded at the man lying unconscious in front of her. Her head was spinning and she watched, dazed, as his friends examined the burn wounds on his face. It sizzled and was forming big red blisters. _What did I do? _

"She's a mage!" Mother Eloise's voice screeched. The familiar voice finally drew her attention. She looked around and saw the villagers gathered around her, staring, fearful and shocked. The clanking stopped as the Templars came into view. Mother Eloise, Sister Linda, and Brother Kent (she recognized as the one who pulled her out of the well) also came running up beside them. "I can't believe I kept a _mage _in the Chantry!" Mother Eloise wailed. Sister Linda and Brother Kent looked at Violet with deep sorrowful expressions. "Quick! Get her out of here!" ordered the older woman.

The Templars walked closer. Mother Eloise turned on her heals with a huff and made her way back to the Chantry. Violet watched the Templars approach, still bewildered. "Where am I going?" she asked, but no one would answer her. One of the Templars raised a hand and the electricity pulsing around her hands subsided. "Where am I going!" she asked again, getting frantic. Her heart skipped a beat as they grabbed her arms.

"Let go!" she cried and started to struggle. "Alistair!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Sister Linda hunched over a little and let her head fall into her hands. Violet thought she heard a soft moan. Brother Kent flinched and looked away. "Alistair!" she called again, but there was no sign of him. Her eyes burned and warm tears rolled down her cheeks.

Alistair thought he heard his name being called from the village. He stopped midway of shoveling manure in the stable. His heart started to race. _That sounded like Violet… _

"Alistair!" the cry came again and he gasped. He was sure of it; Violet was calling him.

"Violet!" He threw the shovel near the fence and started running to the front of the Chantry. "I'm coming-" he started to say, but almost tripped trying to stop himself from bumping into Mother Eloise.

"Just where do you think you are going, boy?" she asked firmly.

"I heard Violet-" he began, but she interrupted him.

"You are supposed to be cleaning the stable. Now go."

"I need to get to Violet!" he fumed and ran around her.

"Ser Alric! Stop Alistair!" she commanded and the Templar turned around to see the little boy running in the group's direction.

He stepped in front of Alistair. "Woah, there!" he said and firmly held the boy's shoulders. Alistair shrugged him off and lunged forward. Ser Alric stopped him again. This time, he held him around his chest, keeping his arms from flailing. Alistair grunted angrily. The Templar looked up at Mother Eloise. Her arms were crossed and she glared with impatience.

"Take him back inside. We don't need to cause another scene."

Ser Alric looked back at the lad. He was still fighting, his eyes focused and determined. With a sigh, Ser Alric said, "Come on, Alistair. There's… nothing you can do."

"No! I have to get to her! She needs me!" he snarled. He snapped his head to look up at the Templar. "Why won't you let me go?"

He stood silent for a moment. His helmet hid his face, but there was pity in his eyes. Ser Alric looked back up to Mother Eloise. "Can't the boy at least say good –" he started to ask her, but she wouldn't have it.

"That wasn't a suggestion, Ser Alric. Bring him inside now; unless you want your supply of lyrium to be misplaced this month?" The revered mother glared.

Alistair knew that struck a nerve. He heard the Templar curse under his breath.

He tightened his grip and immediately started to drag him away.

"No!" Alistair yelled. "I have to get to Violet!" He pleaded. He could barely hear her cries now. _I shouldn't have let her go alone, _he thought angrily. He gritted his teeth and his stomach wretched. He wasn't going to lose her. She was the closest thing he had to family. He was supposed to protect her, but now that she screamed his name, now that she needed him most, he couldn't reach her. He yelled, anger flushed his face, and he pried himself free from the Templar's grasp. Sadly, before he could take two steps forward – before he could call her name – the Templar landed a hard fist to the back of Alistair's head. The boy fell to the ground unconscious.

Mother Eloise looked down at the still body; her eyebrows furrowed. "Carry him back to the shed," she ordered the Templar. "Hopefully you knocked him hard enough with that steel fist to make him forget about what just happened. Inform everyone that they are never to speak another word about the elf – e_specially _to Alistair; whether he remembers or not."

"A mage," Mother Eloise muttered as she walked away. "Harboring an elf mage… I must pray for my sins…"

Ser Alric dropped his head with a sigh. "Maker have mercy," he whispered and gingerly picked up the small figure.

The revered mother was informed later that day that Alistair did, indeed, forget about the event that took place that morning and that everyone at the Chantry was avoiding his questions. All she said to her informant was, "Good."


	10. Rose

_First, thank you fujingodofwind and oranjitenshi for your story alert subscription. Second, thank you to AresxBellona, Brelaina, fujingodofwind, and Kirabaros for your reviews. Finally, thank you Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader._

_I also just finished my drawing of Violet Surana on DeviantArt. If you want to check it out, here's the direct link (take out the spaces): http:/ / talondragon000 .deviantart .com /#/d3nun8k. _

_If you want me to draw any particular scenes or characters from this fan fiction, PM me and I'll get right on that. *Huggles my wacom* ;) _

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><p>Ch. 10 Rose<p>

Violet looked solemnly at the ground. She didn't want to look at him. Her hands were clasped tightly around her arms. She was holding herself; just as she always did after her nightmares at the Circle Tower.

She endured ten years without the comfort and assurance he used to give her. She had to learn quickly how to keep herself from falling apart. Violet would close her eyes and pretend those hands and arms were not her own, but Alistair's. Silently, she shushed and calmed herself down. It was her version of meditation.

"I called for you," she said, her voice was barely a whisper. Her whole body was shaking. "I called your name; over and over, but…" her voice trailed off. She bit her lower lip, hard, and squeezed her eyes shut. It was so straining not to cry. "But you never came."

Despite that fact, she never held a grudge against him. It may have been a trick of her hysterical state, but when she was being pulled away from the Chantry, she thought she heard him call back to her. It was carried softly with the wind. She convinced herself then, that he was coming, but somehow never made it. She hoped, even as she boarded the small boat at the docks; even as she rocked back and forth and watched the shore grow smaller and smaller; she hoped to at least see him standing at the pier and hear him call her name one more time.

* * *

><p>Alistair's head was spinning. He watched her silently as she revealed her tale. He let her go when she stepped back to hold herself. It pained him to see her in such a defensive state. She couldn't even look at him now. It worried him to think she felt some disdain toward him because he had not reached her. When the words, "But you never came," were whispered, he felt his stomach drop. His face was pale.<p>

It felt wrong. He would have come to her. He knew he would have heard her call to him.

Alistair brushed his hand through his hair, but stopped once he reached the back of his head. His hand wouldn't move. His head – something was wrong with his head. He wouldn't have forgotten something so important. He stared intently toward the ground and thought hard.

He knocked on the back of his head a few times. Why he thought the gesture would trigger a memory, he didn't know. All he knew was that's what Sister Linda would do playfully whenever he forgot something; and he was desperate. Violet finally looked up at him, puzzled. Her head was tilted as it always does when she was confused.

She blinked. "…Why are you hitting your head?" she asked.

There it was. The day came rushing back to him like a hurricane – the stables, Violet's voice, Ser Alric, and Mother Eloise.

"He hit my head," he muttered as he rubbed his head unconsciously. His eyes gleamed with understanding.

"What was that?" Violet asked with concern. Her body loosened.

He stepped forward and pulled her close again. His eyes locked with hers. "I came for you, Violet," he began. Alistair could feel Violet quiver and her cheeks starting to flush. "I heard you calling me and I started to run to you, but Mother Eloise stopped me and Ser Alric knocked me out. After that, everyone at the Chantry ignored me when I asked where you were. Only brother Kent pulled me to the side and told me you were a mage and was taken to the Circle, but that's all I got out of him."

Alistair smiled as he wiped away a stray tear from Violet's cheek. "I suppose we really shouldn't let the skirts fool us. Templars aren't a bunch to be trifled with… especially if their lyrium is on the line."

His heart fluttered when he saw her sigh and smile again.

"Believe me, I learned that lesson a long time ago," she laughed and let her body loosen again.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked. The comment intrigued him. "You messed with a Templar's lyrium?"

Her eyes danced deviously. "More like… I bribed them with lyrium. I slipped some in my pocket after our practices and they brought me lovely gifts in exchange. I ran quite a successful black market for a little while."

Alistair scoffed playfully and put a hand to his chest. "As a fellow Templar I am deeply offended you would use them like that."

She smirked. "It's not like they weren't enjoying themselves." She sighed. "Unfortunately, my little following grew too large and their gossip reached the ears of the Knight-Commander. Again, I was severely punished."

"You were quite the troublemaker weren't you?" he laughed.

"What can I say? I learned from the best," she shrugged.

"It seems surpassing your superior is a habit of yours. First it's with the tricks. Then it's being leader of our little gang," he said, nodding his head toward camp.

"Call me ambitious," she said proudly.

His gaze softened as he examined her. Her confidence radiated on her slowly tanning skin. The constant sunlight was good to her. It was a light brown tint instead of pink as he always got. She was meant for the outdoors. Her eyes shimmered despite the darkness of the night. He noticed that her eyes would gleam when light hit it, like a cat. Her ears, despite being pointed, were petite like her figure. What he loved the most was her strength. She was right to be proud of that ambition. Despite her small demeanor, she could hold her own. He thought of her fighting in Redcliffe and then of his rose.

* * *

><p>"Oh," he said suddenly and pulled away from her.<p>

Violet raised her eyebrows as she watched him fumble through his pockets. "Something the matter?"

Alistair's cheeks flushed. "Here, look at this," he said and handed her a fully bloomed rose. It was a deep red and the thorns looked like it was shaved off. "Do you know what this is?"

Violet looked up at him with a strange look, but was smiling. She mused that his nerves would be the end of him one day and decided to tease. "Is this your new weapon of choice?"

He smirked. "Yes, that's right. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements. Feel my thorns Darkspawn!" He positioned himself in a defensive stance and lunged to the side with an invisible sword. "I will overpower you with my rosy scent," he said. He stood up straight, placing his hands on his hips, and took in a deep breath. Violet put a hand to her mouth to stifle a giggle. He let his arms drop to his sides. "Or, you know, it could just be a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison."

"Sentiment could be a pretty potent weapon," she said shyly and sniffed the rose. Violet fidgeted her foot. What were his intentions? Were they friendly? Brotherly? Romantic? She gulped as she tried to keep herself from over reacting.

"Is it that easy to see right through me? Huh, I guess I shouldn't be surprised," he said. "I picked it at Redcliffe, from the garden you used to tend. I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. I was afraid the walking dead would destroy it during the battle. So I've had it ever since."

"You rescued my rose? My, isn't that sweet," she smiled. "You had me worried for a second. I thought you were going to tell me you picked it in Lothering. Leliana just finished telling me her vision tonight. It would be very interesting if she found out you had plucked and kept her divine rose." She nodded her head. "It was a sign from the Maker himself, you know," she said, matter-of-factly.

"I suppose we shouldn't tell her I left it there to rot then, should we?"

Violet shook her head. "No, we shouldn't," she laughed. "Though, I think she would understand. It isn't easy saving one rose, let alone two during a blight; and being a Warden is filled with tough decisions."

Alistair chuckled. "I thought that I might… give it to you, actually. In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you."

"You think of me as a gentle flower?" she jested.

"A gentle flower?" he chuckled. "No, I don't think I'd put it that way."

"I guess it's a bit silly, isn't it?" he continued. "I just thought, here I am doing all this complaining and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experiences of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy. I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this… darkness."

Her heart fluttered. It definitely wasn't brotherly. She had little experience with romances, but knew a thing or two about pickup lines and confessions from Jowan. He had several romances with the other mages and would ask her for advice on what to say. Though her comments were blunt, they were well heeded and much appreciated. She did notice a Templar stutter and fidget during one of their conversations recently, but with the swiftness of her recruitment, it never got farther than that. It was thrilling to finally receive a genuine confession – and from Alistair of all people! Was she dreaming? She had to make sure.

She looked past him with a shocked expression and pointed into the trees. "What is that!" she cried and quickly pinched her arm as he turned around.

"What?" he asked. She punched her arm this time while his back was still facing her. The gestures stung and made her arm throb a little. No, she was very much awake. He turned back around and she quickly crossed her arms, gripping where she struck herself to inconspicuously ease the pain. "Did you see something?"

She shook her head and tried to sound calm. "Sorry, it was a squirrel. It's been a while since I've seen one," she laughed. "Anyway, thank you very much. It's a lovely gift," she added quickly before he could press her further. She was relieved when he just laughed it off.

"Well, I'm glad you like it." He stiffened again and shifted his feet. "Now… if we could move right on past this awkward, embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it."

Her whole face flushed. Her eyes widened for a second, but she quickly composed herself. She thought she knew Alistair well, but she definitely wasn't prepared for that. This whole time she thought he saw her as a sister; and now? _He's messing with me, eh? Well, let the games begin, Ser, _she thought and smiled wickedly.

"Sounds good," she said enthusiastically. "Off with the armor, then."

He laughed again, but his face was definitely red. "Bluff called. Damn, she saw right through me." He snapped his fingers to indicate a "shucks" gesture.

_Oh? He thinks he can get out of it that easily?_ "Why must it be a bluff?" she said coyly.

He looked at her pensively. "Hmm… Well, we are at camp, and the tents are right over there; this is true."

"No time like the present then. After all, we do have a lot of catching up to do," she said and watched with amusement as his whole face flushed.

He chuckled nervously and started pointing back toward the camp fire. "I'll be… I'll be standing over here, until the blushing stops. Just to be, uh, safe. You know how it is."

She watched him walk away and smiled triumphantly. This new side of Alistair intrigued her. She had always known him to be confident and silly, but never nervous and bashful. There really was a lot of catching up to do.

_This is going to be interesting; _she thought gaily and sniffed the rose again, swishing her shoulders back and forth.


	11. Trust

_Thank you lcook93 and Ravenwiccn for favoriting and Dennis nist for the story alert! As always, thank you Brelaina for beta reading. :) _

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><p>Ch. 11 Trust<p>

Violet was lost in thought as the group ventured down the road toward the Circle Tower. She was not as concerned about the return as she first anticipated. It was true she did assist Jowan to escape the Tower, but that was what friends were for. She stood her ground and was prepared to accept whatever fate the Knight Commander deemed acceptable. If Duncan had not been in the area she considered the worst consequence. She was eternally grateful to have been given a second chance and admired the man for doing so for so many others – such as Alistair.

She unconsciously pulled the straps of her backpack. The rose Alistair gave her was wrapped and tucked comfortably inside. A warm sensation filled her chest and tickled her stomach. That feeling came and went whenever she thought of the previous night. She felt her lips creep into a smile, but she bit it to stifle herself. Smiling for no reason would raise some unwanted attention from her companions and she felt it wasn't the time to confess her affections.

Her much needed distraction came when a woman ran to them for aid. Violet sensually searched the air for any darkspawn. She smirked and her excitement grew with each step. _Bandits, _she hoped and rushed to the site.

Over the past encounters she grew to fancy having bandits fall victim to her spells. Such spells included a victim being slowly reduced to a pile of ashes. She thought the flames danced marvelously as the body flailed around in horror. Another would be a scruffy face foaming at the mouth and his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his body seized from her electric rays. Her beams had an interesting purple and blue aura around them which made the attack almost mesmerizing. Yet, her favorite were those darker spells she secretly read about. She learned to give her opponents flashes of terrible nightmares that lasted up to a minute. She usually planted the images in third person so they could watch themselves perish; meanwhile, she would commence to deliver the fatal blow. Those taunting premonitions were thrilling.

Oddly, darkspawn killing had yet to present the same amount of pleasure. Perhaps bandits had the higher score because she was silently seeking revenge? She hadn't decided yet.

However, it was a bit surprising to find the band a bit tougher to take down this time around. They had set up an ambush; each person had a role and position. They were organized and skilled. More than once she had to break away from spell casting to dodge sudden dagger stabs. Luckily, Alistair fought a little way before her to keep the mass of opponents at a distance. She never admitted it out loud, but sometimes she wished she wasn't so exposed – her clothing did no justice against physical attacks. Her mistrust in her gear did lead her to have healing spells on hand, though, and was grateful for them when Alistair was struck down from the rear. She was an amateur, though, and knew he would need to be tended later that day.

A few more swings, spells, and arrows later, the band fell with their leader unconscious in the middle of the road. Violet woke him for interrogation. She concluded they were professional hit-men and intended to confirm who hired them. Sure enough, it was Loghain. Violet growled at the news and was about to finish him when a particular confession made her freeze.

"I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows," the assassin explained. "They bought me on the slave market when I was a child."

He was a fellow elf and had introduced himself as Zevran. He had tanned and tattooed skin, long blonde hair, and amber eyes. Although he was from Antiva, she realized they were very similar.

Violet supposed she was the lucky one of the two. What would have happened if she hadn't escaped that night in the forest? Would she have met a similar fate? Sparing him would mean offering another chance at life. She thought of Duncan and his kindness. Allowing him to join the party would mean higher defense at camp from then on, if he really did keep his word…

"Why would I want your service?" she asked him. Her right hand crackled with electricity. Her gaze was stern and focused. If she was to spare him, he would have to be useful. That was the only way her merciful decision would seem justified.

"Why? Because I am skilled at many things: from fighting to stealth and picking locks. I could also warn you should the Antivan Crows attempt something more sophisticated now that my attempts have failed." Zevran then started to smile. "I could also stand around and look pretty if you prefer, warm your bed, fend off unwanted suitors, no?"

She stiffened and did her best to keep her face from getting hot. His forwardness would be something she would have to get used to. How could he be so lighthearted in his predicament?

Electricity hissed and engulfed her hand. She glared and tried to keep an intimidating front despite her warming heart. "No."

"Ah, well what should it be? I'll even shine armor. You won't find a better deal, I promise," he continued.

"Very well," she said.

"What!" Alistair looked at her with confusion and blatant disapproval. "You're taking the assassin with us now? Does that really seem like a good idea?"

She tried to smile reassuringly and said, "Don't worry about it. We could use him."

He looked at her skeptically. "Hmm… all right, all right. I see your point." She knew very well that he wasn't exactly warming up to the idea, though. "Still, if there was a sign we were desperate I think it just knocked on our door and said hello."

She walked ahead of the group for the rest of the day, but could sense Alistair glaring at the new recruit. Now and then she looked back to find Zevran smiling and looking around as if taking an afternoon stroll. She assumed that sparing his life made him more appreciative of his surroundings. Alistair, on the other hand, was tense from head to toe. His hand was hovering over the hilt of his blade as if he was prepared to draw it at any moment. He never took his eyes off the assassin. She wondered if she was doing the right thing.

When the sun fell and the group prepared camp, she went over to Zevran who was standing and watching. He had no bed roll or tent of his own and she made a mental note to purchase some in the next village.

He noticed her approach and smiled. "I am needed to help with the set-up, yes?"

She stiffened and tried to look authoritative. "Actually, I wanted to inform you that we do not have a tent or bedroll for you yet. So, until then, I hope this blanket will suffice," she said while handing him her blanket.

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh? You are considering giving me my own supplies? And here I thought you were going to tie me to a tree every night." He smirked and looked her up and down. "Not that the thought sounds deterring."

She scrunched her nose and thrust the blanket forward again and looked away. "Do you want it or not?"

He nodded and took the blanket appreciatively. "Honestly, I was not expecting such kindness after the little… incident this afternoon. Are you certain you do not want me bounded?"

She frowned, remembering how uncomfortable and raw her wrists became from that exact scenario. "No. I won't bind you. We will be keeping an eye on you though. Do not confuse my hospitality with trust. If you try anything we won't hesitate to kill you," she said seriously and looked back up at him. "I am not holding you to any oath, Zevran. You can leave whenever you want."

Zevran raised an eyebrow. "I gave my oath willingly, but if that is the case, then it is good to know what my options are. I am curious, however, why are you doing this?"

Violet's gaze softened and she sighed. "Because I believe in second chances. In a lot of cases, including mine, our choices were made for us. Now, it's our turn to make our own way."

He looked at her with intrigue. "If you don't mind me asking, what is your history?"

She looked to the ground thoughtfully. "Bandits murdered my parents when I was small. If I hadn't escaped… perhaps I would have ended up like you: sold off to the highest bidder and forced to fight because of my abilities. I would have been an apostate, I suppose. But I did get away, only to be locked up at the Circle of Magi. It was only recently that I joined the Grey Wardens."

He stepped forward and placed a hand under her chin; he raised it up so he could look into her eyes. "That is a tragic tale. Yet, it only compliments your strength and beauty."

Violet blushed and quickly stepped away. "Um, thanks." She said, a bit flustered, and crossed her arms. "Well, we'll let you know when dinner is ready." With that she turned and hurried back to her equipment and set up her tent with new fervor.

_I swear, I'm not going to get used to how forward he is, _she thought. _Should I slap him next time? Even though it was a compliment?_

A hand grabbed the rope out of her hands and tied the knot she kept failing to make.

"Are you okay?" Alistair asked with concern. "You seem distracted."

She cleared her throat and crawled to the other side of the tent. She took the rope and tried once more to secure it on her own. "I'm fine."

"Did the assassin say something?" he snarled.

"No, no. He just complimented me; that's all."

His eyes furrowed. "He's complimenting you… again?"

She noticed the inflection and paused. Violet didn't know whether to be amused or concerned by his jealousy. "He might just be very grateful to me for sparing his life," she said and looked at him. "I know I'd be spewing 'I love you' phrases to my captor if I was spared."

He pouted and begrudgingly said, "I guess you're right." Then he quickly added, "But don't let your guard down. I don't trust him."

Violet smiled and leaned back toward him. She looked up at him and sweetly patted his cheek. "How does it feel to worry about me again?"

His gaze softened. "I'm not sure. A part of me missed it – having someone to protect – while the other part wonders if there will come a time where I will be completely useless. It was different when we were children. I thought I was invincible back then. But, in the end you were taken so easily…" his voice trailed off and he frowned.

Alistair tenderly took her hands in his and continued to look into her eyes. "I promise you, Violet Surana, that so long as I breathe I will protect you."

Violet felt herself holding her breath. She wanted to look down at his hands and admire how he held them so tightly, but instead lost herself in his eyes. They were determined and confident just as his voice was.

He smiled widely. "Of course, don't expect much if my limbs have been torn off by an ogre and I'm flown across the field. I could still act as a distraction, but aside from that you're on your own."

"Oh!" she huffed and playfully slapped Alistair's shoulder. He laughed and continued to help set up her tent; now and then exchanging glances and soft chuckles.


	12. Corrupted

_Thank you Brelaina and Kirabaros for your reviews! As always, thank you Brelaina for being my beta reader. :) _

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><p>Ch. 12 Corrupted<p>

Violet didn't expect such a horrific homecoming. So many mages and Templar were strewn along the floor soaked in their blood. Their eyes were dull and lifeless, but the rest of their features preserved their final moments: surprise, fear, and for some – acceptance. Her stomach churned. Every time she spotted a new corpse her anger grew. Her mind reeled. If she hadn't been recruited… she shuddered. She sensed the desperation of the mages. It was so hard to decipher which ones were corrupted and which were fighting for survival.

One blood mage asked to be spared. The issue tore her in two. She knew only those who were corrupted dabbled in the forbidden art. Yet, she hesitated. She thought of Jowan and his desperation to save his relationship with Lily. Lily cast him aside immediately upon revelation. Violet watched silently, waiting for the right words and a way to comprehend her feelings. The only thing she could accept was her assistance in Jowan's escape attempt. So, she held her ground and admitted her crime confidently.

Blood magic; desperation drives people to desperate measures. It must take some time to consider the consequences and rewards. To determine that acting in the evil practice is better than any other alternative. All mages are taught how horrific and dangerous it is. Yet, they exist; and before her laid a woman with such sadness, discontent, and shame that she left her life in Violet's hands.

She quickly found how wrought with decisions a Grey Warden's life entailed. A few hours ago she relished in the freedom of choice and felt some pride in giving Zevran a second chance. Now, she worried of the hard decisions that plagued her future.

She had seen the mage before. She was a couple years older than her and already passed her Harrowing. Violet thought of the Templar that stood watching the Harrowing, waiting ready to strike down those that succumbed to the Fade. They all watched the mages grow. They hardly conversed, but it wasn't hard to establish some form of rapport. It must have been a hard job (unless fear or lyrium blinded them).

Violet stepped forward while keeping her eyes locked with the blood mage. She stretched out her hand. The woman flinched, but after a moment, she looked at Violet with dumbfounded and grateful eyes and took the outstretched hand.

"Thank you." Many have said those words to her during her travels as a Grey Warden. The woman was no different. She said it just as exasperated and relieved as the others. Violet hoped the decisions she made thus far had been the right ones. She would not have received so many thanks otherwise, right?

* * *

><p>Zevran watched his comrades carefully with increasing curiosity. He understood Violet once lived there and that the mages that used blood magic were marked as corrupt. However, when Violet decided to show mercy upon one such individual, he couldn't help but wonder. The mercy she gave to those who were supposedly her enemies seemed foolish – especially with what he understood of her past. The event should have hardened her, yet she remained so forgiving. It was a different kind of strength.<p>

Alistair was also an interesting fellow. Though he dreaded the thought of becoming king and always found something to joke about, Zevran learned that he too had a difficult life. Perhaps laughing things off was a defense mechanism?

Zevran quickly learned his place between the two. Alistair had tailed Violet and given him enough glares to hint that she was "off-limits." The challenge only motivated his efforts, though. Now that he witnessed her act of kindness with the blood mage, he was especially eager to converse with the "Templar" about her.

Their endeavor lasted the entire day. By the time order was restored and they made their way back across the lake the moon shone brightly in the night sky.

Everyone in the row boat was exhausted. Alistair and Violet were seated in front of him. She was leaning against Alistair, most likely with her eyes closed. He watched him glance down at Violet now and then and witnessed a faint smile come across his lips. Zevran's anticipation grew, but he kept his demeanor calm. Only the devious sparkle in his eyes betrayed him.

* * *

><p>Violet was sound asleep by the time the boat reached the docks. Alistair gently cradled her in his arms and carried her back to camp. He glanced down to see her sleeping face as he walked. She looked so peaceful despite what must have been a difficult day for her. No, he would let her rest for now.<p>

Somehow, he managed to open the flap of her tent and ducked inside to lay her on her bedroll. As soon as he let go, she turned to her side and stretched an arm out and managed to catch his forearm. Alistair sat on his heels for a moment and waited. He couldn't help but smile. So many years had passed, yet somehow, it was almost as if nothing changed. A few moments later she finally let go and rolled to the other side. He did his best to silently get to his feet and exit the tent.

"So, you decided to emerge?" Zevran said, grinning. He was leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed. "If it were me, I would have laid beside her all night."

Alistair jerked his head in Zevran's direction and sneered. "That wouldn't be proper, assassin."

"Oh? Is it because of the rest of our little party? Are you afraid of what they would think?" he said, continuing to grin. "Simply laying next to a woman is not a gesture of sexual advancement; unless, you decided to leave for fear of losing your self control?"

"Of course not!" Alistair said sternly, but quickly lowered his voice when he remembered Violet was sleeping only a few feet away. He could feel his ears getting red.

"Come now, Warden, let us have a chat away from the tent so you do not need to worry about waking her." Zevran jerked his head to motion Alistair to come to him.

He shuffled his feet. The course of the current conversation was not a welcomed one. If Zevran wanted to continue to talk about it, he'd rather just return to his tent.

"Look, it's been a long day, Zevran. I'm going to bed," he huffed and started to walk away.

"I am sorry if I offended you, my dear Alistair. I actually have a question regarding the Warden," he said, a little louder so he could hear him.

Alistair paused and looked back. Zevran jerked his head back again to gesture him hither. He looked back at Violet's tent then slowly made his way toward Zevran.

They walked a little farther away from the clearing before Alistair started to ask, "Okay, what is it?" He was stiff and impatiently crossed his arms.

"Before I ask, I want to confirm a few things. You are a Templar, correct?"

"I trained to become a Templar, but never made it official."

"But, you are trained to share in their morals?"

"Yes…" Alistair furrowed his eye brows in suspicion.

"So, here is my question. Hypothetically speaking, of course, what would you do if you found out she practiced blood magic?"

Alistair's face grew hot and inhaled a quick breath. "What! Where did this come from?"

"Did you not see the various blood mages during our encounter today, Alistair?" Zevran chuckled. "It was simply a passing thought; especially because I know how close you are to one another."

His jaw tightened and gripped his arms. "I don't have to answer that," he said, turning his head.

Zevran continued to smile. "Indeed you do not. But, if it were me, I would not mind at all. Such beauty combined with a dark art would simply make her more alluring and exciting." Alistair's nose started to flare, but he continued to look at the ground. "She too confessed to me that she wondered what would have happened to her all those years ago if she had not escaped to live with you. I wonder how heartbroken she would be to find that your affections for her would waiver at such news."

Alistair flinched. He didn't want to think about such a scenario. After all, he was trained to hate and hunt maleficarum. It was his duty and moral ethics. It was almost impossible to picture Violet as a blood mage. Alistair turned and walked back to camp without another word to Zevran snickering amused in the shadows.

* * *

><p>Alistair blinked as he slowly regained consciousness. He tried to sit up, but found that his hands were bound above his head and his feet bound at the other end of the board. He was stripped of his armor, laying in nothing but his underclothes. Cuts and bruises covered his body. It was then that he noticed he was aching and stinging all over.<p>

"Wha -?" he started to say, but a familiar voice sounded from the shadows.

"Good, you survived the first round. It would have been disappointing to see you dead in only a few hours time," an elf said calmly as she stepped out of the shadows.

"Violet?" Alistair whispered under his breath and examined her closely. She was wearing clothing with the Antivan Crow's symbol and had a tattoo of several lines curving across her forehead. Her demeanor was confident and sultry, but her eyes danced with mischief and danger. "Violet, is that you?" he said a little louder. _What in Maker's name is going on? _

"So, you've remembered your torturer's name? I'm flattered," she said and leaned in, holding her face only a few inches away from his. She grinned and caressed a finger lightly across his cheek. "Maybe I should give you a gift – something to definitely remember me by."

She straightened up and traced her hand down to the left side of his chest. There was a cut that was still fresh and had blood slowly trickling down. She placed a finger on the cut then quickly pulled her hand away, pulling some of his blood magically from the wound. Alistair yelled and jerked his shoulder. It was as if a small knife was yanked from his chest. Violet chuckled. The blood she took formed into a neat point at the end of her finger. She leaned in and pushed the tip into his chest. He screamed and jerked again.

"Violet! What are you doing?" he asked through gritted teeth and looked at her angrily and confused.

"You shouldn't jerk around like that, otherwise the cut won't be clean and my work will be ruined," she said calmly and continued to drag the blood needle across his chest.

"Ahh! Stop!" Alistair demanded and continued to writhe.

Violet paused and sighed. "Now, now, be a good boy and hold still," she said and a purple aura shot from her free hand and engulfed his body. Alistair gasped and found that he could no longer move. "Hmm… much better," she purred and continued her work.

He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut for the remainder of the time. He tried to speak, but found he had lost his voice as well. A few excruciating moments later, Violet sighed happily and announced she was finished. He could feel the blood needle gone, but the cuts she left on his chest still stung. She took a nearby rag and wiped away the remaining blood from the scar.

"Well, aren't you going to take a look?"

He opened his eyes and shifted his shoulders, relieved to be able to move again. He hesitated to see his mutilated chest, but figured that if he didn't see it now he would eventually. He slowly lifted his head and gawked. "Violet" was carefully carved in script and placed within a simple heart outline. He was about to protest when another voice interrupted.

"Still playing with your meals, my dear?" Zevran chuckled and wrapped an arm around her.

She looked back at him and smiled. "You know me. I savor the flavor."

Zevran gave another chuckle and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. Alistair felt his blood coursing through him and he growled angrily. "Let go of her!"

Zevran slowly lifted his head. He looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "And why should I do that? We are both partners and lovers after all." He watched Alistair's face flushed with confusion and rage. "Oh?" he said amused, "My dear Violet, it seems you have an admirer."

It was Violet's turn to look at Alistair. She scoffed. "My, you really are a charmer," she said, and pulled Zevran into another deep kiss.

He felt his anger heighten. His thoughts were no longer clear. She was not Violet. She was not _his _Violet. He struggled with his chains, but somehow, felt them loosen. By the time the assassins noticed, he had already jumped off the table, grabbed one of Zevran's daggers, and pierced Violet through the heart.

At that moment, the scenery whirred and they were sitting in the middle of the woods. Alistair was wearing Templar armor and Violet had returned to her normal self. The dagger remained, however, and was still settled deep within Violet's chest. His breath was ragged. His anger quickly subsided into one of concern. "Violet?" he whispered.

She gaped, her eyes wide with confusion. Meekly, she lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek. "Why? How… could you? You… promised…" With that, her head fell forward and Alistair held her close to his chest.

Tears streamed his face as he called out her name over and over.

* * *

><p>"Violet!" Alistair screamed as he jerked awake. He breathed heavily as he looked around bewildered. He was laying under the covers, upon his bedroll, and back in his tent. He placed his hands onto his face and wiped the beads of dripping sweat. "Damn that assassin." He sat there for a few more seconds before pulling on some pants and quickly exiting his tent.<p>

He noticed that everyone had gone to bed and Zevran was warming his hands alone by the fire. Alistair stormed toward him with a new-found determination.

"Hmm?" Zevran looked up at Alistair curiously and stood up to face him. "Is something the matter, Alistair?"

"No," he said firmly as he pointed a finger at him.

"So, nothing is troubling you?" he inquired doubtfully.

Alistair huffed and said, "No, I mean, that is my answer. I wouldn't mind if she was a blood mage."

Zevran blinked then chuckled. "Ahh, so you have been thinking about it all night then and that is your answer?"

"In a way, yes, and that is my answer."

"Are you sure? As a Templar you are entitled to certain duties, no?"

"No… I don't think I could do it."

"What if she was an abomination? Would you kill her then?"

Alistair looked to the ground thoughtfully and stiffened his body. After a few moments, he looked back at Zevran and said, "I swore I would protect her. And if that meant protecting her from herself, then it would be my job; no one else's. But I'd fight to find another way. Killing her would be my very last resort."

Zevran crossed his arms and nodded. "You two are an intriguing couple, Warden." He turned back to the fire and started to warm his hands again.

Alistair looked thoughtfully into the flames and stood there for some time before returning to his tent.


	13. Starcrossed

_Thank you to b5anon, Ravenwiccn, rosewhip889, Skytail, iLuvTwiBoyz, and Lil' Bunny Lynn-Lynn for your story alert subscription. Rosewhip889 and iLuvTwiBoyz, thank you for favoriting the story. Thank you Kirabaros, Brelaina, and iLuvTwiBoyz for your much appreciated reviews. Mahalo to rosewhip889 for favoriting me as an author and adding me to your alerts. As always, much love to Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader! :D_

_Enjoy! ^_^_

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><p>Ch. 13 Star-crossed<p>

Violet hadn't slept as soundly as she had hoped. She couldn't erase the images of her fellow mages turned into abominations. Their twisted features and soulless eyes pained her thoughts. Uldred was struck down by her hand, but those hands held the same power that called forth the plague of demons.

She thought of the Templar Cullen and his confession. Her mind was riddled with guilt. He must have fought so hard and long against the demons that played with his desires. Though their relationship had not gone past passing conversations and smiles, it seemed his feelings ran much deeper – only to be attacked and manipulated; tormented into seduction and submission. His new mistrust and hatred against mages was so strong.

It was difficult for her not to see herself as nothing more than demon bait waiting to wreak havoc on innocents. For the first time, she thought of her powers as a curse rather than a means to fight; a means of survival and revenge. She always viewed the world in black and white, but as of late, everything was turning to different shades of grey. No more good and evil or right and wrong. As Cullen had put it, she hoped her mercy would not be her own downfall.

Again, the same question kept creeping to the front of her mind: was it the right choice? She was glad to restore order. The Mages gave their support and several now followed them back to Redcliffe to help cleanse Connor.

As she walked with the group down the road she silently watched the dirt trail move under her feet. She couldn't voice her concerns yet. She would have to wait until they camped again.

An arm slid around her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. Violet looked up to find Alistair looking down at her with a small smile. His face was soft with concern. "Are you all right Violet?"

It was nice to have him there. Though she didn't try to hide her emotions it was still a pleasant surprise to have someone take notice. She would tell him later. Now wasn't the time. "I'm all right Alistair. Thank you," she said with a sad smile.

He frowned. She knew he wasn't buying it. "Are you sure?"

"If you're a good boy, maybe I'll tell you later," she said, trying her best to lighten the mood and give him a genuine smile.

"Ah, then I shall do my best my lady." He gave her a final squeeze before letting his arm drop to casually walk beside her.

The rest of the party hung back, chatting and gossiping amongst themselves. Violet resumed watching the dirt crunch under her boots. After a few moments she looked back up and found Alistair looking at her. She quickly averted her eyes and stared into the distance.

_Was he watching me the whole time? _Violet turned a little to catch a peripheral view. Alistair had turned away the same instant and his ears were a bright pink.

The clouds were gathering and turning a dark grey. The wind howled faintly as a chilled breeze graced her cheeks. _It isn't sun burn, _she concluded and giggled inwardly.

"It's about to rain," Alistair confidently pointed out as he looked up into the sky. Thunder softly cackled in the distance.

"The clouds are getting dark, indeed," Zevran added. "Unfortunately, it looks like a coming storm. Not a summer shower."

"Keep walking along the path. I'll find you," Morrigan announced and quickly handed Leliana her staff. Leliana was startled by the gesture, but took it as Morrigan shifted into a raven and flew into the air. Her clothes dropped to the ground at Leliana's feet.

"Oh! Um… I suppose I'll hold onto these," she said and began picking up the garments.

The clouds lit up now and then with the thunder increasing its volume and frequency. The winds howled louder and flapped the group's loose clothing. A couple of the mages held down their robes to keep it from flying up too high. At that point, Zevran started tailing in the back with a suspiciously pleased grin. The few female mages that huddled together eyed him uncomfortably. Eventually, Wynne took notice and sternly ordered him to walk in front of them.

Zevran chuckled. "You are keeping an eye on me then, my dear Wynne? I hope you enjoy the view."

Wynne sighed irritably, but made no comment. Violet couldn't help but smile though. The assassin's teasing was quite entertaining. At the corner of her eye she thought she saw Alistair frown, but the raven's return grabbed her attention.

They followed the raven toward the mountainside and eventually came to a sizable cave. By then the rain began its descent and fairly soaked the party's clothes.

It didn't take long for a fire to blaze and have the travelers settled around it. The Circle mages looked the most pleased to get off their feet for a while. Violet smiled remembering how she first complained about walking such long distances and the calluses that formed on her soles.

She found a boulder farther into the cave and sat down. Laughter quickly echoed through the cave and she watched everyone's smiling faces. It was a nice sight. It felt peaceful and light-hearted despite the ugly weather. After watching them for a moment longer she finally decided to pull off her boots and started to rub her foot. She was starting to wonder about buying new shoes when Alistair walked up next to her.

"Still not used to walking?" he asked and leaned against the cave wall.

"I'm getting there. I'm forming big ugly calluses and everything," she said as she squished her face in disapproval and extended her leg to wiggle a foot.

Alistair chuckled. "Oh yes, they're hideous. Best to put them away, I think."

Violet scoffed and pretended to be offended. "Well, my feet are still dainty compared to your thick stumps," she said, waving a hand toward his. "I'll bet they're as bad as the darkspawn's."

"Ouch! Comparing me to darkspawn now? I'm hurt."

"That's what you get for calling my feet hideous," she said, grinning with her nose upturned. "And it looks like I won't be telling you about what I was thinking earlier after all."

"Oh," he said, just remembering their quick conversation. "I'm sorry." He smiled apologetically. "Can you forgive me?"

She continued to hold her nose high and thrust her foot toward him. "Maybe; if you rub my feet for me, _human_." Violet smiled wickedly.

Alistair snorted, but started to drop to his knees. "As you wish, my lady," he said and started to gently massage her soles.

Violet smirked. She half expected another retort, not submission, yet there he was on his knees. She laughed.

"And what is so funny?" he asked, looking up at her curiously, but still amused.

"Don't you find it strange that a human, almost-templar, prince is rubbing the feet of a lowly elf-mage?"

Alistair paused for a moment, looked down at his hands, then continued to rub. "You make me sound so important."

"You are important," she said. She didn't mean to sound so serious, but she was.

He scoffed. "Everyone has a funny way of showing it. Make Mr. Important sleep with the dogs and disown him for being a bastard. Brilliant."

Violet didn't know what to say. She sat in silence for a moment somewhat regretfully enjoying the massage. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, finally.

He looked up, startled by the question. "Doing what?"

"Why are you massaging me?" She looked at him, searching for something. She didn't know what to expect nor did she know what she wanted to hear.

Alistair slowly lowered her leg and gently raised the other. He caressed her calve with a pensive expression then shrugged his shoulders. "Why not?"

Violet shifted then leaned forward. She didn't know why she was getting irritated. "I'm a mage, Alistair. I'm an Elf. What am I? I'm something no one wants. Or, if I'm wanted, it's just to be used. Sure, I'm a Grey Warden, but why? To fight. That's my purpose in life. To serve. But, even so, my powers are feared. My race is hated. I'm expendable, aren't I?"

"You are a Grey Warden. Not just a Grey Warden, but one of the last of two in Ferelden, helping to end the blight. You and I are the only ones with the power to stop this. We are on a mission to build an army and defeat the archdemon. If we succeed at this horribly daunting task, the people of Ferelden will have no choice but to remember you as their hero. You are not expendable. We need you."

Violet's breathing evened. Alistair looked up at her. The fire vaguely lit her face. Her expression softened. "Why would they remember me when they can remember a prince? What is to stop them from creating tales of how Prince Alistair started as a Grey Warden and ended the blight? How he survived the massacre at Ostagar and built and led his own army?"

"It's just as impressive to hear of what you call a 'lowly elf-mage' raise to the ranks of hero of Ferelden." Alistair frowned. "And no one knows I'm a prince. No one needs to know."

She sighed. "Think about it Alistair. Who is supposed to take your brother's place when we defeat Loghain?"

He flinched. The revelation stung hard and fast.

"No doubt once the Arl awakens he will tell you the same." The words left a bitter taste in her mouth. If he became king there would be no way for the two of them to be together. She hadn't thought of that consequence when Alistair initially confessed, but now it was blatantly obvious. Alistair's face was shadowed, so she couldn't tell that he grew pale.

"You are important," she continued. "You shouldn't be on your knees. I should be the one kneeling. That is my place."

He sighed heavily and his nose flared. "No. Your place is to stand proud, beside me, as our leader." He took both her hands, held them tightly, and looked into her eyes. "And I will follow you until the end."

Violet gave another sad smile. "What if I make a wrong choice and doom us all?"

Alistair chuckled. "Then Maker preserve us."

They sniggered. Violet gazed at their hands. She didn't want to let go, but she still held her doubts about the whole situation. Would it be better to seek nothing more than a brotherly connection? It would certainly make things a lot easier for them in the end.

Love; it was a weakness. Cullen's image quickly ran across her mind again. Regretfully, Morrigan's philosophy on love was starting to grow on her. Was it better not to have connections?

"Alistair," she said his name slowly.

"Yes?" he said cheerfully, but quickly dropped when he saw Violet's sad expression. "What's wrong?"

She looked down at their hands again and squeezed them. "I am grateful for your promise to protect me and as a partner I expect to reciprocate that." She looked up and saw he was watching her closely.

"Of course," he said.

"I hope to be a good partner." She said the next phrase slowly, "You have been a great friend and deserve no less. You are, and always have been, my best friend, Alistair."

She tried to be careful with her words. Violet knew it was unwise to lead him on if there really was no chance to be together and she didn't want their fraternization to jeopardize their mission. If she was to be the leader he described, that's what needed to be done. Though it would have been better to simply tell him they could only be friends, she couldn't bring herself to say it. This was as close as she could get and hoped he would get the hint.

Fairytale endings were for fairytales. She should have been grateful to have seen him again let alone be his comrade.

Alistair's brows creased and he looked at her sternly. He let out a small sigh before replying, "So are you."

It was then Alistair finally stood back up, let go of her hands, and slowly made his way back to the fire. Violet's heart wretched as she looked back at him. Her eyes started to water. _I guess he got the hint. _

She scoffed quietly to herself and stubbornly rubbed the tears from her eyes.

_How ironic, _she thought. _By admitting he is my best friend, did I just lose him? _


	14. Desires

_Thank you Kirabaros and Brelaina for your reviews. On a side note, I just started school this week so my updates will be slowing down a bit. Also, some watchers on DeviantArt are eager to see a comic version of this story. So, if you are interested, visit my profile for the link to my DeviantArt page. :D _

_As always, thank you Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader. ^_^_

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><p>Ch. 14 Desires<p>

"Who will enter the Fade?" The First Enchanter asked Violet once the lyrium was prepared for the ritual.

Violet didn't answer right away. She looked around the room. They were on the second floor of Redcliffe Castle in the main hallway right outside Arl Eamon's bedroom. The Circle mages had taken their places surrounding the unconscious Connor. The boy was lying in the middle of a symbol drawn from lyrium dust.

Wynne, Morrigan, and Jowan were watching her carefully, anxiously waiting for her decision.

"I need to think about it for a minute," she finally said.

Irving warned her not to take too long. She responded with a quick nod then walked over to the nervous Jowan. She nodded her head to indicate she wanted him to follow her and they walked over to the far corner of the room.

"I want to send you into the fade," she whispered. Jowan's eyes popped.

"What? You can't be serious?" he whimpered. His voice hitched a note. "Irving wouldn't allow that. No one would."

"I want you to redeem yourself. This may be your only chance to prove yourself to everyone; to repent," she said a more sternly.

Jowan sighed. "I… can't Violet. I'm a blood mage. I'm the one who poisoned the Arl. Even if they do agree, who is to say my mind is strong enough to withstand the demon? It would be better to send our strongest. You and your companions have proven time and again that you will be victorious. Me, I'd be lucky to be spared even if I saved Connor."

"I thought you wanted to help?" Violet could feel her anger rising. She was giving him an opportunity to redeem himself and he was throwing it away.

"I want to. I still do, but I'm not the one best suited for this task. We have one shot at this, that's it. We need our best and it isn't me." Jowan gulped before continuing. "It was always you. Even though I was at the Circle longer than you, you were still wiser; more focused and determined; headstrong and hardworking. Don't tell me you didn't think of me as a whiny and scared older brother at times?"

Violet frowned, but couldn't deny it. Jowan had lived at the Circle for six years before Violet finally arrived as a late-blooming ten-year-old. He was only a year older than her. Despite her late arrival, though, she managed to catch up to Jowan's class and surprisingly surpass him. It was not off of raw talent, though. She studied so hard that playing tricks on the Templars was her only release. Once the fun was over, she went straight back to her bedroom desk to study.

Jowan fidgeted then slowly placed his hands on her shoulders. "The truth is… the reason I started studying blood magic was to become more powerful. I was jealous of how strong you were getting and how fast you got there. I… I was selfish. I was selfish for convincing you to help me escape too. I betrayed you and all you have ever done was be my friend. I'm sorry. I… I can't face that demon; not when there's so much at stake. I'm not strong enough."

Violet's jaw tightened, but her anger was subsiding. Though she didn't like the idea of him being jealous, she couldn't blame him either. Now, she couldn't help but feel partially responsible. She wanted to fix it; fix everything, but she quickly realized it wasn't going to happen.

"If you don't go, they will have no reason to spare you, Jowan," she said softly then looked into his eyes. "I won't be able to help you."

Jowan started to rub her shoulders and gave another sad sigh. "I know. I'm willing to accept whatever fate they give me."

Violet nodded and bit her lip to stifle back tears, but then started to shake her head. "How did you manage to screw up so much?" she said with a scornful laugh.

His smile was hollow and full of regret. "I don't know…. Well, you better hurry and decide who is going into the Fade. Irving is waiting."

Violet nodded again, took one last look at her friend, then walked back to the group with him.

"Have you decided?" Irving asked again, eying Jowan.

"I will go," she said, trying to regain a confident demeanor.

"Very well, let us proceed." He motioned for Violet to stand beside the lyrium symbol. The mages began their ritual dance. Their bright auras surrounded their bodies and lit the lyrium dust on the ground. Connor's body began to glow. Then, Violet watched the scenes around her grow hazy; her head felt light and the haze turned to black.

* * *

><p>The fade was just as hazy and dull as she remembered it. Her search for the demon that possessed Connor was not difficult. The route was simple and the terrain somewhat familiar. All she had to do was defeat the weak demons in her way and follow the portals. Within minutes she was staring down a floating purple figure in the middle of a clearing. She recognized this demon too. It was desire.<p>

The demon smiled at Violet's approach.

"Very well. No more illusions. Now we meet face to face." The demon swayed and caressed her body. Her voice was soft and sultry. "You see my true form and stand in my domain. It is here that I am most powerful and yet I have no wish to engage your power. Nor should you be so eager to engage mine. Perhaps we should converse instead?"

Violet glared at her. "What could I possibly have to talk to you about?"

The demon smirked. "I am willing to free the boy and leave voluntarily. No fuss. No bloodshed, for a small price." The demon eyed Violet when she positioned her staff in a defensive stance. "In return, I can grant you any desire you wish."

"You won't get in my head, demon."

The demon chuckled and slowly moved forward. "Oh, but I already am." She raised her hand and Violet felt a surge of power rush throughout her body. She gasped as she started to glow.

"What is this?" Violet demanded. She was confused. Instead of feeling pain or weakness, she felt stronger and more alive.

"It's power. I could grant this to you. I know what happened with your parents." The demon shook her head. "Such a shame; if only you were stronger back then… Perhaps they would still be alive?"

"Shut up!" Violet seized this opportunity to release her newfound energy, but only her regular amount of power shot out of the staff.

The demon jumped back in time to dodge her attack. She huffed and glared at her, but a smile quickly returned to her lips. "So, it is not power you desire most." She straightened up and advanced toward Violet again. "No, you want something… forbidden," she hissed.

The demon licked her lips and her form started to change. Her fiery purple hair dulled to a dirty blonde, her physique muscled and thickened, and her smile changed to a familiar quirky grin.

Violet tensed more and more as she watched her change. Though she knew she had her normal strength back, she thought it was still being sucked out of her. She had rehearsed her attack over and over through the Fade, but for some reason she could no longer move or think. Her face flushed and she started to slowly step back.

Alistair chuckled. The sound purred in Violet's ears. It made her heart race. She had to snap out of it. It wasn't Alistair. It was a demon. She just saw her change, for Maker's sake!

"It is this human you desire, isn't it?" Alistair started to slowly remove his armor. His quirky grin was now confident and determined. "I can give him to you."

Violet shook her head. "N-no! Stay back!" she yelled and shot another electric bolt from her staff. This time the demon did not change or dodge. The lightning bold hit Alistair directly and he screamed before falling to his knees. Violet's body started shaking.

_That isn't Alistair! I didn't hurt him! It's a demon! She must be destroyed! _

"Oh, but you did hurt me my dear," Alistair said through gritted teeth and looked back up to Violet. "You cast me away, Violet. You won't let me love you."

She felt the blood drain from her face. Her head swirled. She took in a deep breath and shook her head hard to try to stay focused. "N-no," she said again softer. "He understands. He knows-"

"It doesn't mean it didn't hurt," Alistair quickly replied. His voice was soft and sad. His frown made Violet's chest ache. "But I can change that. We can start over. We can be together."

Violet bit her lip. She felt like she was going to topple over. So weak; she felt so weak.

"I- I am sorry for what I did to Alistair… but it is impossible. We both know this cannot be," she said, trying to regain her confidence.

"Just because I am a prince?" he asked and started to stand up. "This can be easily remedied."

The mage laughed skeptically and repositioned her staff. "Really? How?"

Alistair smiled and stepped up to her. He stood with his face only inches away from hers. "You can run away with me," he whispered. The color in Violet's face quickly returned. "I can make it happen; with the real Alistair in fact. All I ask is to have the boy years from now, when all this Blight business is long forgotten, and you have already fled with your love."

She flinched and stepped back. "N-no… NO!" Violet screamed and placed a hand on Alistair's chest. Electricity surged from her hand to Alistair's body. He wailed and his form flashed back and forth between him and the demon. The demon jumped back, full of rage.

"Very well, if it's a battle you want, then a battle you shall have!"

A cone of ice erupted from the demon's hands and stormed toward Violet. Violet set up a quick barrier to block the attack and it fell when the ice ceased. She let loose another bolt of lightning that struck the demon at her core.

The demon gave another scream. She growled and glared at Violet before she spread her arms and disappeared. Puffs of smoke surrounded the mage and multiple desire demons floated around her.

_Which one…? _Violet looked around frantically and focused on the one form that was solid instead of hazy. "There!" she yelled and cast a cone of ice. It froze the demon in its place and the illusions returned to smoke. "Die!" Her left hand erupted with a cone of lightning. The frozen body cracked and finally shattered. Pieces of the demon's body toppled and scattered across the Fade's floor.

Violet panted and stared at the heap. She growled and then started kicking and stomping on the demon's remains. "How-dare-you-get-in-my-head!" she screamed frantically and felt her eyes water.

She was still kicking when the world grew hazy and darkened.

* * *

><p>Her eyes fluttered open to view the real world.<p>

"Violet! Thank the Maker you're all right!" Jowan exclaimed and helped her sit up.

She took a deep breath and looked around the room. Everyone had a worried look on their face. She searched. Finally she saw the brooding figure of Alistair standing in the back of the room next to Zevran. He was looking away with his arms crossed. His face seemed flushed.

Her eyes furrowed in confusion. "What's wrong? Did I take too long or something?" she asked, turning toward Jowan.

He gulped and struggled to find the right words. "Um… you were screaming and thrashing. We were worried you were being tortured."

She looked at him sternly. "What was I screaming?"

Jowan fidgeted and started to avert his gaze nervously. "Um… you… you were…"

Zevran sighed softly as he made his way toward them and crouched down next to Jowan. Though he smiled his eyes seemed somewhat sad and sympathetic. "You were calling out for Alistair, my dear Warden. I imagine what you had to do was quite painful, but it seems you are just fine now. You truly are amazing."

She quickly turned her head toward Alistair again and was just about to say his name, but in that moment he turned and walked out of the hall and around the corner. "Alistair…" she finally said under her breath.

Zevran nodded. "It was not easy for him to watch you battle the demon alone," he said, leaning in to whisper just loud enough for Violet to hear him. "I imagine he felt quite hopeless. We all did."

Violet frowned and quickly got to her feet to run after Alistair.

"Alistair! Alistair!" she called after him. When she rounded the corner she saw him still trudging away with his head down and shoulders tense. "Alistair!" she called again and grabbed his arm. He finally halted, but would not turn around.

"Alistair… I'm sorry if I worried you," she said and eased her grip.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he said softly. "If anything, I should be thanking you. You put yourself in danger to save Connor when you didn't have to. I owed the Arl that much."

"It… wasn't just me. If it wasn't for the Circle Mages-" she began, but stopped when Alistair finally turned to face her. His eyes were red and watery. His face was still as flushed as she first saw it in the Hall.

"It was you. It was all you. And I could do nothing but watch as you screamed. You called for me, but I couldn't… do anything… again… it happened again…" Alistair dropped his head. Violet could sense he was struggling to fight back tears.

She stepped forward and held him. One arm wrapped around his back while the other held and stroked the back of his head. She hushed and tried to soothe him. "Alistair, I'm fine. It's okay."

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "If I lost you… if I lost you again…"

Violet's heart fluttered. Her head spun. Their embrace felt so nice. It felt so right to be in his arms – to be the one to soothe him. She didn't want it to end. Yet, the blight managed to creep into her thoughts and Alistair's royal position gnawed at her brain.

She didn't know what to do. Violet knew she would have to let go eventually. Their embrace would have to end. However, as she was contemplating, Alistair decided to make the first move.

_Soft… _she thought in a daze. _His lips are so soft…. _


	15. Advice

_Thank you YQ and DirtyVelvet for adding the story to your alerts and Asphell's Advocate for favoriting the story. Also, thank you Brelaina and Kirabaros for your reviews and a special thanks to Brelaina for also being my **awsome **beta reader. _

_For those who are interested, the comic version is underway with two pages already! XD The link to the comic can be found on "Ch. 1 Taken." _

_Enjoy! ^_^_

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><p>Ch. 15 Advice<p>

The kiss was short, but passionate. Alistair pulled back to find Violet in a daze. Her cheeks were flushed.

"I-I'm sorry," Alistair stuttered and pulled away slowly, watching her carefully. She made no effort to hold him there. He slipped easily out of her embrace. His heart hammered in his chest. At a loss for words, for fear of saying exactly the wrong thing and making the situation worse, he turned and continued to walk down the hallway.

_Stupid, _he began to curse inwardly. _How could you be so stupid! She must think you're a fool! _He gave an angry sigh.

He stopped when he reached the front gates to wait for the rest of the party to catch up. It felt like ages, but eventually his comrades approached and he turned to walk in silence back to camp.

The hike remained uneventful and carried an awkward aura – or so he perceived. He had no idea if the others knew of his embarrassing act and what they might have thought if they did. Nor did he have any intention of finding out.

However, as he was setting up his bedroll for the night, Zevran approached his tent.

"I take it, it did not go well?" he inquired with a smirk. Alistair flinched and turned around to find Zevran seated casually just outside the tent's entrance. He huffed and tensely started flattening his sheets.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said tersely. Zevran was the last person he wanted to talk about his situation with.

"Oh come now, surely you did not think I would not know about your little kiss?" he chuckled.

Alistair gave him a side-long look, but made no remark. He grabbed his pillow and started flattening it irritably.

"Personally, I think it makes for a very memorable first kiss," he continued. This made Alistair pause.

He turned his shoulder to finally give Zevran his full attention. "What do you mean, 'first kiss?"

Zevran's smile widened, obviously excited about knowing something about Violet that Alistair didn't. "You did not know? My friend, Violet is, as one might say, a virgin in all respects."

Alistair furrowed his eyebrows. "You mean… that…"

"-Was her first kiss," Zevran finished. His eyes gleamed.

"H-how do you know this?" Alistair stammered, more embarrassed and regretful than before.

"I do not need to inquire about such things, as I am a master at body language," he stated, matter-of-factually. "Yet, I did manage to catch sight of you two in time and asked Violet if she was feeling well once you were out of sight."

"What did she say?" Alistair asked, probably too quickly. He figured Zevran picked right up on his anxiety.

"She simply nodded, still in a daze-like state. Her cheeks were still flushed and she gently touched her lips. Of course, I inferred from that point that the kiss was her first, but I asked her just to be sure. She nodded again, but this time she looked at me, almost amazed and asked in the softest voice…"

Zevran waved his hand to encourage Alistair to move closer. Alistair hesitated, but he was overwhelmingly curious. When Alistair got near enough, Zevran leaned in to whisper into his ear. The distance between them dangerously tested his comfort zone, but Alistair held his ground anyway and braced himself.

Zevran whispered as softly as he could, "Are all lips so soft?"

Alistair's face reddened as he quickly jerked away. His whole body tensed and he could no longer look at the Antivan. Though he was somewhat glad to know that Violet was not angry at him and he took her inquiry as a compliment, it was embarrassing to hear it coming from Zevran.

That quickly changed when Zevran continued to say, "Of course, I volunteered my services by offering my lips for her to experiment on. 'Why not try mine and compare them?' I said."

"What!" Alistair yelled as he leaned forward to glare at him.

Zevran only chuckled and waved his hand for Alistair to calm down. "Do not worry, my friend, she politely declined. Though she did so hesitantly…" he muttered the last bit barely loud enough for Alistair to hear.

"She what!" Alistair yelled a little louder. "And why are you 'offering your lips'?" he sneered.

"The temptation was probably due to curiosity, but I would not blame her if there was something more to that. I am quite charming," he said with a proud smile, but casually continued. "In all honesty, Alistair, if you wish to woo her, now would be the opportune time. Her mind is jumbled, so she may end up doing something… irrational," he said, choosing his last word carefully; "Particularly to your benefit."

"Wait…" Alistair said, relaxing and looking at Zevran in slight confusion and skepticism. "Are… are you trying to help me?"

Zevran laughed. "Now, why would I do that? Given that I want the Warden for myself?" he said with a wink. "I am just saying, if I were you, I would go to Violet, while her mind is still swimming with emotion, and confess my inner-most desires for her – to melt that hardening heart. Then, I would attempt another kiss, slow and gentle this time, so that she is given the choice to return those feelings."

Alistair was unaware of how intently he was listening to Zevran's advice.

Zevran started getting back to his feet and peered into the entrance. "It is best not to wait too long. Either she will end up thinking it was a mistake and reject you, or…" Zevran paused to grin deviously, "I make the next move and she accepts me as her new lover."

"You - !" Alistair began to threaten him, but within moments Zevran had made his way back to the center of the camp to join the rest of the party. Alistair gave an irritated sigh, continued to glare at him from across camp for a few moments, then returned to setting up his bedding.

He didn't know what to think of the Antivan anymore. He knew he didn't like him, given he had tried to kill them once and was constantly trying to win Violet's heart, but he couldn't help but wonder if his rivalry was a façade and his own twisted way of helping him instead. In any event, he continued to contemplate his next move. He hated to admit it, but Zevran's advice was mighty tempting.

* * *

><p>Several days passed in awkward silence between Alistair and Violet. He could not find the right time or words for their next conversation. Nor did he know if what he wanted was the right thing to pursue. He kept his distance, trailing behind the party as they traveled. He kept trying to convince himself that Violet already knew of his feelings because of his kiss and that all that was left was to take it a step further. What made him hesitate, though, was the fact that she rejected him earlier because of his status. So, why would she suddenly change her mind?<p>

He looked at Leliana (who was conveniently walking alongside him) and decided it wouldn't hurt to get another person's opinion.

"So… you're a female, right?" he asked her, his voice somewhat hushed.

Leliana looked at him humorously. "I am?" she gasped. "That's news. When did that happen?" she teased.

_For the love of Andraste, _Alistair scolded himself and placed a hand on his forehead. He looked back to her apologetically and continued, "I just wanted some advice… What should I do if… if I think a woman is special and-"

"You want to woo her?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Here's a good tip: you shouldn't question her about her female-ness."

"All right, yes, good point," he said and looked away, embarrassed.

"Why do you ask? Do you think things will not resume naturally?"

"Why would they? Especially when I ask women if they're female?" he asked dejectedly.

"It adds to your charm, Alistair. You are a little… awkward. It is endearing." She smiled.

He looked at her skeptically. "So, I should be awkward? Didn't you just say I shouldn't do things like that?"

"Just be yourself. You do know how to do that, don't you?" she said.

"All right, forget I asked," he sighed. _I'm hopeless… _

After a few moments she said, "I heard about what happened between you two."

"What?" He looked at her, unaware of what exactly she was talking about for a second. "Oh…" he said in revelation, then said, slightly perturbed, "Did Zevran tell you?"

She snorted, "That assassin tried to make me kiss him 'in exchange for information.' So, no, Violet came to talk to me last night, actually."

This immediately intrigued him. "She did?" he asked curiously.

Leliana nodded. "Apparently, she had spoken to Wynne earlier asking for advice. She was wondering if it was all right for you two to be romantically involved."

Alistair gulped. "What did she say?" he asked nervously, taking a quick glance at Wynne.

"She gave her rational advice – that she had duties as a Grey Warden and romantic interests of any sort may cloud her judgment."

Alistair frowned. That was a perspective he had not thought of and yet another reason Violet shouldn't be with him. "Oh…" he said sadly.

Leliana smiled encouragingly and said, "But, when she came to see me, I told her that life is too short to be constantly worried about duty and darkspawn; that now-and-then she needed to do things for herself. There is happiness and beauty in this world and we should hold on and cherish every bit of it."

He couldn't help but smile. What she said was true and restored some of his motivation to talk to Violet.

"But, what do I say to her?" he asked. "We aren't even speaking to each other right now…"

Leliana thought for a bit then replied, "Start the conversation off with something quest-related – something of official business or anything completely unrelated to your situation."

Alistair mulled it over in silence. He knew they were questing for the Urn of Sacred Ashes and so were on their way to Denerim to see Brother Genetivi…

"That's it!" Alistair exclaimed excitedly, causing Leliana to jump a little. "Thank you Leliana!"

"You're welcome," she smiled.

_I'll talk to her tonight; _he affirmed and walked the rest of the way in high hopes.

* * *

><p>The sun had set a few hours ago and the sky was quickly darkening from its purple haze.<p>

Violet was lounging by the fireside perusing through a tome she found in the Circle. The flames lit her face and caused shadows to dance on her skin. Alistair was fidgeting in his seat, going back and forth between warming his hands and rubbing them together, and glancing back at her more often than he knew he should have.

_Speak to her, Alistair, _he thought repeatedly, trying to muster his courage. He looked up from the fire and noticed both Zevran and Leliana were looking at him – smiling. Zevran nodded his head towards Violet's direction and Leliana discretely waved her hand to encourage him forward. He shifted in his seat hesitantly and uncomfortably.

_Go on, _their eyes kept telling him.

He looked over at Violet who was too engrossed in her studies to notice them. One more glance at the rogues; yet another silent effort to encourage him, more pressing this time. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. _Maker's breath, why is this so hard?_

"Here I go," he muttered and stood up to make his way over to her. He thought he heard Leliana squeal excitedly. "Um, Violet?" he asked, finally gaining the mage's attention.

"Oh," she said, looking up at him. "Yes?" she asked softly as she sat up.

_Is she blushing? _He wondered, observing her reddening cheeks.

"You know… maybe this isn't the best time to be thinking about this, but I have a question to ask you," he started, noticing how uncomfortable Violet was starting to get. _I'm starting off wrong already… _he thought worriedly.

"We will be heading to Denerim soon," he continued, trying to sound more official than nervous. "And when we're there I wonder if we might be able to… look someone up?"

Violet relaxed a little. "You have a friend outside the Grey Wardens?"

"The thing is, I have a sister," he said, now growing anxious with wondering if she would even accept his request. Although it was a tactic to start speaking with Violet again, he had planned on doing this a while back, but only remembered about it until his chat with Leliana.

"A half-sister," he continued. "I told you about my mother, right? That she was a servant at Redcliffe Castle, and she had a daughter… only, I never knew about her. I don't think she knew about me either. They kept my birth a secret, after all. But after I became a Grey Warden, I did some checking and… well, I found out she's still alive. In Denerim."

Violet smiled. "That's wonderful news," she said, genuinely excited. It made Alistair's heart flutter. How many days had passed without seeing that smile?

"She's the only real family I have left," he said with growing confidence. "The only family not also mixed up in the whole royal thing. I was just thinking that… maybe it's time I went to see her. With the Blight coming and everything I don't know if I will get another chance to see her. Maybe I can help her, warn her about the danger, I don't know."

"If you want to, we could try," she replied.

Alistair's excitement grew along with his feelings for Violet. Her care for others was a feature he admired. "Could we? I'd really appreciate that. If something happened to her and I never went to at least see her, I don't think I could forgive myself. Her name is Goldanna and I think she remarried and lives just outside the Alienage. If we're in the area, then… well, it's worth a look."

"Mhm," she said with a smile.

_Okay, don't stop now, you can do it, _he thought. He was just about to open his mouth when Violet's Mabari came bounding at them, barking loudly.

"What is it, Chocolate?" Violet asked playfully. "Did you find something?"

Chocolate barked excitedly and led Violet away from the fire.

Chocolate… Violet was hungry the day she reunited with the hound and she couldn't stop admiring his dark brown coat. It humored him immensely. But now… _damn dog, _he thought irritably.

A couple of groans sounded behind him. _My thoughts exactly, _he huffed.

* * *

><p>Their meeting with Goldanna was… unexpected, to say the least. To say he was disappointed was an understatement as well. Although he didn't argue or hurt the girl for being a rude, gold-digging <em>bitch, <em>he was secretly amused and appreciative when Violet kept defending him and even volunteered to cut out her tongue.

What came out of Violet's mouth next probably surprised him the most, though.

"Everyone is out for themselves," she huffed, still fuming when they exited the house. "Maybe you should learn that."

Violet, the girl who put others before herself on so many occasions, was telling him to start being more… selfish? Was he hearing her correctly? Perhaps it was just the anger talking. He had to make sure.

Alistair stopped Violet as soon as they reached back at camp. "You know, I've been thinking…"

"What have you been thinking about?" Violet asked, somewhat concerned about his abruptness.

"Back when we left Goldanna's you told me to look out for myself more than I do. I'm beginning to think you were right. I need to stop letting everyone else make my decisions for me. I need to take a stand and think about myself for a change, or I'm never going to be happy."

"Don't let me influence you, Alistair," she said, a little worried. _Caring about what I think, again, _he thought happily. This was it. This was the advice he needed. How ironic it was coming from her.

"No, what you said made sense. You were right; I should be looking out for myself more." He paused. "Or did I not understand you?"

"No, but you don't have to do what I say," she said shyly.

He smiled. "I don't have to. I want to. I should have done this a long time ago. I just wanted to thank you. Being with you is the one bright spot out of everything else that's happened."

"I feel the same way," she admitted with a sweet smile.

His heart raced. There was no turning back and he didn't want to. "I know our situation and I've been thinking it over for days, but I've decided that it doesn't matter."

He stepped closer to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He stared into her eyes and admired how they gleamed with – dare he call it – longing. "I care for you a great deal, Violet. That goes without question. But, do you think you could ever… feel the same way about me?"

He said it. He admitted it. His whole self lay on the line. Now all he needed was her reply. Maker, the silence was killing him.

"I… I already do," she said, her voice airy.

He beamed a handsome smile and pulled her closer. "And is it… too soon for this?" he whispered and slowly, gently placed his lips upon hers. She made no resistance. For a second, she just let it happen. Then, she wrapped her arms around him, squeezed him tight, and pressed her lips forward. He lightly held the back of her head and deepened his kiss. Traces of the new perfume she bought in the market filled his senses. It suited her perfectly. It was sweet and reminded him of honey; and her lips…

_She's right… _he thought dreamily, losing himself in the purity of the moment. _They are soft. _


	16. Cold

_Wow, it's been a while since my last update. My appologies. Anyway, thank you so much to Sharem, Kirabaros, Kyu-chan, and Brelaina for your reviews. Thank you Akane Nagamiya and ShimmeringDjinn for favoriting the story. Thanks to Akane Nagamiya and Dieddarker for adding the story to your alerts and Locathah for adding me to your author alerts. As always, thank you Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader! :) _

_As for the special request, perhaps I can find a way to incorporate it into the story. Until then, hope you enjoy. ^_^ (I personally think this chapter could have been better, but I have some tricks up my sleeve for later chapters, so, hold on to your seats. ;D) _

* * *

><p>Ch. 16 Cold<p>

Several days passed as they ventured west on their quest for the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Brother Genetivi's notes indicated that their next destination was a small town in the mountains called 'Haven.'

Violet sat on a log near the fire with Alistair keeping her company. Zevran initially asked to watch the camp with her, but Alistair was quick to retaliate and volunteered his company in his stead. For one, he still didn't trust the assassin with monitoring the camp as they slept. Two, he was still unsure about his motives toward Violet.

A cool breeze nipped at the back of Violet's neck. Alistair chuckled inwardly as he watched her face scrunch up when she shivered. So many things about her were different from ten years ago, but now and then he caught small habits resurface.

"You still make that face…" he commented amusingly.

Violet looked up at him while rubbing her shoulders for warmth. "What?"

"You still wrinkle your nose when you shiver," he said, smiling.

She frowned. "Is that bad?" she asked with slight concern.

He smiled broadly and said, "Yes, your cuteness will drive me so insane that despite my years of Templar training, I'll lose all self-control and start kissing you so hard we won't even notice the Arch Demon approach the camp."

Violet smirked. "If that's the case, then who's to say I'm not seducing you with a charm spell?"

He shrugged. "Maybe you are, but I could dispel it at any moment and quite frankly, I like it."

She waived a finger. "Careful Templar, lest you give in to a desire demon."

"You are no demon," he said charmingly and started to lean in.

"Abomination, then," she smirked as she eyed his lips.

He shook his head. "Nope."

"What am I then?"

"Beautiful," he breathed and kissed her softly.

Violet felt Alistair start to deepen the kiss, but she pulled back and leaned away. She rested her weight on one of her arms and sighed. "Looks like you really don't have self-control. If I don't stop you now we _will_ get distracted," she teased.

"Ah, but you'd be to blame, my dear. This is your watch-guard shift after all and I was _seduced_," he teased, drawing out the last word.

"Then perhaps it would be safer for you to leave," she said coyly.

"Hmm… flee the seduction of a beautiful maiden and possibly miss a battle with darkspawn? I think I'll stay," he mused.

"As you wish, your Majesty," she said with a slight bow.

This made Alistair perturbed. Lately, Violet used the "King" fact against him to win their playful banters. He could never seem to find an appropriate counter – which amused Violet greatly.

"That's not fair," he groaned. He pouted and crossed his arms.

"All is fair in love and war," she replied proudly, satisfied with her win. "Anyway, what do you mean, 'still'? You noticed me doing that with my nose back then?"

Alistair looked to the ground, nostalgic. "It's a habit of yours. I thought it was funny because you really did remind me of a rabbit. So, I was always on the lookout for it on cold days."

"…You don't have some weird animal fetish, do you?" Violet teased.

He looked up in alarm. "What! No!" His face flushed. "…Do you?" he couldn't help asking.

"No!" she quickly denied.

There was a moment of awkward tension, but it ended with stifled laughs.

"Hold on," Alistair said as he stood up from the log they were sharing and made his way to his tent. He returned to the fireside moments later with his blanket and draped it over Violet's shoulders as he sat back down. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, much better. Thank you."

"Of course my love," he smiled warmly.

_My love… _There was a sweet and exciting atmosphere whenever he said that. They could both feel it. It was new and still felt somewhat forbidden. They couldn't help but still think their union was rebellious, but they also didn't care anymore. They weren't going to think of 'what ifs' and focus on their next missions and what was happening at present. The couple realized there was nothing they could do to prevent or prepare themselves for the Landsmeet. It was just a matter of waiting.

Right then, however, they were both content with watching the camp and holding each other for warmth.

A few more hours passed and Leliana came to take over. Violet's mabari, Chocolate, woke at her approach and quickly became alert. He wagged his tail excitedly as if asking to be Leliana's watch partner. Neither of the ladies minded so Leliana took her place on the log with Chocolate laying at her feet.

Alistair kissed Violet on the forehead and they bid each other goodnight. Violet went into her tent quickly. A few minutes later she peeked out of her tent flap. Alistair's tent was dark and she could hear faint snores coming from within. She quietly crept out and made her way to Zevran's tent.

Leliana looked her way in curiosity. Violet noticed her gaze and simply mouthed out the word, "Later," before turning back toward the tent and whispered Zevran's name.

There were rustles and eventually a sleepy yet excited elf opened the flap.

"Ah Warden, I knew you couldn't resist me," he whispered in his most alluring tone, but was caught off-guard when she quickly hushed him and silently urged for him to get back inside.

"Ohh, an eager little minx, aren't you? Well, I shall not keep you waiting any longer," he said with a charming smile and crawled back inside; Violet followed.

* * *

><p>That morning, Alistair was the first to notice Zevran's tent and all his possessions were gone.<p>

"Where's Zevran?" he asked Violet, who looked a little solemn as they packed up all their gear.

She put on her pack before responding with a sigh and a shrug.

Alistair frowned. "You don't know?"

"I'm not forcing him to stay here. He can go and come as he pleases. Maybe he felt like he needed to separate from us for a little while. Whatever the case, I'm sure he'll be back," she said and started checking to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything.

He mulled over what she said for a moment and then looked at Leliana. He remembered she had the shift after them and walked over to her to ask if she saw him leave.

"In fact, I did. He was very quiet too. Very stealthy," she answered without looking up. She continued to roll her sleeping sack.

"Did you ask him where he was off to?" he delved.

"I did, but you know how he is. He teased that I was worrying about him and that I should give him a farewell kiss." Alistair found it a little odd that she smirked instead of scoffed as she usually did when commenting on Zevran's pursuits, but figured it was because she had finally warmed up to him (given their recent matchmaking teamwork.)

"I take it you refused?" he asked. Admittedly, their exchanges did amuse him from time to time.

"Of course," she said, and finally looked up at him with a smile before returning to her work.

"I suppose we'll be off without him for the time-being then…" he announced to no one in particular. He didn't know whether to be relieved that the assassin (and possible romance rival) was finally gone or feel concerned for an unexpected friend.

* * *

><p>Haven was blanketed in snow. The clouds were a dark grey and hung low casting an ominous aura. Even Morrigan seemed uneasy and eyed the locals suspiciously. The townsfolk glared silently as Violet and her companions passed. Those who did respond to her various inquiries only encouraged their quick departure.<p>

Violet tried to talk to a little boy thinking that a child's innocence and honesty would be more helpful than the adult's responses. Unfortunately his answers were too ambiguous and just when she thought he was about to tell her some valuable information she found herself horrifically mistaken.

"Wha- Is that a finger bone!" she yelped as she jerked herself away from the boy.

He smiled and looked down at the bone in his hand that was wrapped safely within a handkerchief. "It's my good luck charm," he said proudly and caressed it, admiring its newly polished sheen.

Violet leaned against Alistair to boost her sense of security. Even Leliana grabbed his arm. Morrigan was obviously disturbed, but managed to stand her ground with her arms crossed. The group remained silent as they watched the boy run merrily away.

"Maker's breath," Leliana sighed.

"You know…" Violet started to say as she recomposed herself. "If the urn is really here… maybe that was Andraste's." She was partially trying to make light of the situation, but if the ashes were magical, perhaps the bone was indeed lucky.

Alistair was caught completely off-guard by her comment and laughed so loud that the group received more icy glares from the locals. Leliana didn't seem to like the idea of Andraste's remains being handled so carelessly, though, and only frowned. Morrigan, however, was rather amused; perhaps thinking the boy was smart for taking advantage of the artifact.

"Oh, that reminds me, we should go to the shop the guard mentioned. All this junk we collected lately is killing my back," Violet said, readjusting the satchel strap on her shoulder.

"Killing you? Sten and I are the ones carrying most of it," Alistair remarked.

"All the more reason then," she replied and patted his shoulder.

As soon as the group entered the store a powerful odor burned their noses. It was poorly lit and smelled of rotting flesh. Violet coughed to stifle herself from pinching her nose. She didn't want to seem rude despite the intensity of the smell.

"What in Andraste's name is that smell?" Alistair muttered while looking around the tiny room. "No offense, but it smells like the Circle."

"Hey, the Circle was musky, but it only smelled this bad when you were there because there were corpses-" Violet immediately cut herself off. The group looked at each other in suspicion. Violet looked across the room to find a man wiping a sword behind a counter.

"I'd like to trade," she said and started unloading items from her pack.

"The smell is stronger further in," Leliana whispered to her and eyed the entrance to the back room.

Violet finished her trading and started moseying toward the room. "I think I'd like to look around a little more," she said to the shopkeeper.

"Wha- Wait! What are you doing?" he said in a panic and rushed toward her to block her path. "That's private!"

Violet faced him and started channeling her energy. "What are you hiding?" she asked sternly.

"I don't see how that's your concern," he replied.

Her suspicions peaked. "I'm making it my concern," she said seriously, then commenced walking forward.

"N-no! You have no right!" he yelled and lunged at her, but Violet quickly lifted her palm and froze the man in place. "Watch him," she ordered and nodded at Leliana for her to follow.

The room was small and the odor was overbearing. The girls finally covered their noses as they rounded the corner.

"There," Leliana said and knelt beside a heap on the floor. She slowly pulled back a sheet and found the stiff and pale face of an armored man. "A knight from Redcliffe," she said angrily after examining his body.

Suddenly, there was a yell from the other room, but a pained grunt quickly followed along with a loud thud. They hurried back over to Alistair and Morrigan to find the shopkeeper lying unconscious at Alistair's feet.

"So what did you find?" said Alistair as he turned toward Violet and lowered his fist.

"It's the body of a Redcliffe knight," said Violet tersely. "If the ashes really are here, it's starting to seem less and less like the appropriate place."

"If this is how they deal with those seeking the urn, the Brother may be dead as well," Morrigan added.

Violet turned and hurried toward the exit and said, "Let's go."

As soon as they opened the door a mob of locals started attacking. Swordsmen closed the gap while the mages and archers took aim about 100 meters away. Violet sent a wave of telekinetic energy around her to stun the enemies in place. Alistair immediately focused on dispelling the mages' magic before rushing to attack the immobile party. Leliana and Morrigan concentrated their efforts on those in the distance. The fallen were consistently reinforced by new approaching locals, but eventually, they were able to rest just outside the chantry. As they caught their breath they could hear chanting from within the building.

"It sounds like the rest of the village is inside," Alistair observed.

Violet nodded and positioned her staff to prepare for another attack.

Leliana noticed Violet's defensive stance as she reached to open the door. "Wait, they could just be praying. We should at least try to talk to the Revered Father before slaughtering innocents?" she said abruptly.

"And risk a perfectly good ambush? We should just burst through while we have the advantage of surprise," Morrigan rebuked.

Violet frowned and looked at Alistair who merely frowned back. She sighed. "Stay on the defense. We will try to talk to the father, but be prepared to attack. Morrigan and Leliana, stay to the back of the room. Stun them if they try to make a move."

Morrigan was reluctant, but nodded with the rest of the group in understanding.

They walked in cautiously and surveyed the area. The townsfolk were standing in the center of the room while a couple guards stood to the side against the walls. The Father (Eirik is what the village entrance's guard called him) stopped his sermon immediately upon their arrival.

"Ah… welcome," he said crossly. "I heard we had a visitor wandering about the village. I trust you've enjoyed your time in Haven so far?"

Violet snarled. "You killed the knights of Redcliffe. I saw the bodies."

"This, my brothers, is what happens when you let an outsider into the village," he said, glancing at the armed men. "They have no respect for our privacy. She will tell others of us if we let her. Word will spread, and then what? You, stranger, do not understand our ways," he said, looking back at Violet with a scowl. "You would bring war to Haven, in your ignorance."

"I did not wish to fight, but you're right. I don't understand why you've done this. How can devout followers of Andraste encourage slaughtering innocents," Violet asked, readying her staff.

"We don't owe you any explanation for our actions," he said calmly. "We have a sacred duty; failure to protect Her would be a greater sin." He slowly started reaching for his staff. His eyes were trained on Violet. The guards started moving their hands toward the hilt of their blades. "All will be forgiven," he said and abruptly rose his staff in the air.

"Watch out!" Alistair yelled and pushed Violet out of the way of a winter's grasp spell. Violet fell hard on the floor.

Alistair stood frozen in place. Violet growled as she quickly got back to her feet. By the time she regained her stance the soldiers that had closed in around her were frozen as well. The villagers screamed and started running out of the chantry. Morrigan followed up her ice spell to concentrate on the soldiers around her. She lifted her arms and within moments cast a cloud of dark red entropic energy around the enemies. When the soldiers came to, they grimaced and held their heads, wailing in agony over hallucinations; their eyes were glossed over and slowly rolling to the back of their heads. Leliana accompanied Morrigan by selecting her targets, taking them down one at a time.

Violet focused her attacks on Father Eirik. While Alistair was still frozen, she sent a powerful cone of icy wind and froze the Father in place then quickly followed with a surge of electric bolts. Alistair broke from the encased ice moments later and noticed where Violet was focusing her attacks. Immediately, he cried out to gain strength and heavily slashed at Father Eirik. Some ice chipped away and blood started seeping from the cut.

The battle raged on and the soldiers around them slowly dwindled. When Morrigan's stun spells dissipated, Violet let out a wave of her own. Alistair gained enough strength to finally dispel Father Eirik of his magic. Now completely vulnerable, Alistair took advantage of that state and relentlessly slashed at the Father until he fell lifeless to the ground.

The chantry soon grew quiet with only the companion's panting echoing through the hall.

"Are you all right Violet?" Alistair asked as he sheathed his sword.

Violet laughed. "You were the one who got frozen, love."

He smiled, pulled her close, and kissed her forehead.

"Ahem…" Morrigan cleared her throat to gain the couple's attention (as well as Leliana's – who was looking on with a happy grin). "I hear movement behind this wall," she said while pressing her ear against the brick wall in the far right corner.

Leliana examined it, tracing her hand along the edges and knocking on it a few times. "It's a door," she said and started pulling it. Alistair came up next to her to help the process along. The entrance revealed a dark and drafty room. A low and pained moan sounded further in.

"…I hate the dark," Violet muttered and flicked her wrist to conjure a small fireball in her palm for light. She took a deep breath and stepped into the darkness.


	17. Free

_I hope everyine is enjoying their holiday season! :) _

_Thank you Kirabaros for your review and EliseArainai for adding the story to your alerts and favorites. As always, thank you Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader! Enjoy! _

* * *

><p>Ch. 17 Free<p>

_Freedom – the freedom to live one's life; the freedom to choose; the freedom to love… How old was I when that was taken from me? My dreams, my family, my home were all gone in a single night. From then on I was imprisoned in a tower and constantly watched by distrustful eyes. I longed for the outside world. We both did._

_We made a promise… a long time ago… _

Jowan was seated on the cold hard floor of the prisoner's cell in Redcliffe Castle. He leant his back against the stone wall. He was back in the familiar tight quarters – damp, dark, musky, and cold. What was so different between this prison and the Circle? Either way he couldn't escape. Either way he was always monitored and controlled. All the mages felt it.

_Yet, somehow, Violet always managed to make it fun, _he mused. _Violet… _

He sighed and buried his face in his palms. _I'm sorry Violet… _

* * *

><p>"<em>Black Squirrel… Black Squirrel," a faint whisper sounded in Jowan's ear. He groaned softly and turned over onto his side. Slowly he opened his eyes and found Violet staring intently at him from the side of the bed. <em>

"_Violet?" Jowan said while rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?" _

_Violet hushed him and quickly looked around the room to make sure everyone was still asleep. "It's Purple Bunny, not Violet. And it's time." _

"_Do we have to?" Jowan groaned. "I'm tired…" he said and started pulling the covers up to his chin. _

"_Of course we do," she said seriously. _

"_We can't do it… tomorrow night?" he asked, fishing to find a way out of their mission. _

"_No. Now get up," she urged and started shaking him. _

_Jowan continued to lie there and limply sway with her pushes. "Why do I have to do it? Can't you ask someone else… like Anders? He's always sneaking around." _

"_We tried that, remember? He talks too much and keeps getting distracted. Now, get up," she said more urgently and yanked the covers off of him. _

_He sighed irritably and sat up. "Fine, fine; what are we doing again?" _

"_We are raiding the kitchen," she replied. _

"…_Why? What are we getting that's so important?" he asked. _

"_That's a surprise," she said and winked (though it was barely visible, given the poor lighting of the room). "You just have to keep watch." _

"_Okay," Jowan yawned and slid off the bed. _

_They crept to the door and slowly pushed it open a crack. Violet looked to each side to find the hallway bare. _

"_The coast is clear," Violet whispered and continued into the hallway. Jowan sleepily followed suit. _

_As soon as they closed the door behind them they heard footsteps echoing in the distance. Violet quickly channeled her energy and engulfed their bodies in a continuous gust of wind. The wind swirled around them and lifted them into the air just in time to get out of sight. Jowan noticed she was taking measured and even breathes to maintain their elevation. Strain was noticeably written on her face. They floated for a couple more meters before finally dropping back to their feet and stealthily ran toward the doorway to the second stairwell. _

_They pressed their ears against the wall and listened to the Templars on guard idly chatting. _

"_Okay… cover me while I move," Violet instructed. Jowan nodded and watched the hallway, ready to cast a sleep spell on anyone that approached. _

_Violet cracked the door open and cast a sleep spell before the Templars were able to notice the door moved. "Temp-liars sleep," She whispered and motioned him to hurry up the steps. _

_She peeked through the door for a moment before hurrying inside and shut the door behind them. A few moments later they heard the guard's moans as they regained consciousness. Violet took Jowan's hand and quietly scurried to the prayer room (which they knew was always empty at that time of night) and hid behind a big statue of Andraste. _

"_Temp-liars sleep?" Jowan mocked after taking a deep breath. _

"_They need a code name and I couldn't think of anything, okay?" Violet pouted. "Would you rather I said 'temporary liars?" _

"_What does that even mean?" Jowan asked confusedly. _

"_I don't know. That sometimes they lie?" she replied, getting a little agitated. _

"_Mages lie sometimes too, though," he rebutted. _

"_Well, you have a better idea?" she asked defensively. _

"…_.No," he said reluctantly. He was never very creative when it came to their schemes. _

"_Then that's what we'll call them," she concluded and looked toward the door. "Okay, the kitchen is just a couple of rooms away. We'll sneak along the hall using an alternating bounding overwatch method. I'll go first. When we reach the kitchen, cover me. I'll seize the item and we'll reconsolidate here at the statue. Got it?" _

_Jowan blinked and raised an eyebrow. "You've been reading the military tactics books again, haven't you?" _

"_Well, we've completed multiple missions using them, haven't we?" she asked, crossing her arms. _

"_Maker's breath," he muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This better be worth it." _

_Violet smiled and patted his back. "Let's go." _

_They trailed along the hallway walls, Violet first for a couple feet, then Jowan, and continued until they reached the kitchen entrance and snuck inside. _

_Violet pointed two fingers to her eyes then turned them out toward the hallway to silently command Jowan to act as lookout. He gave another sigh, but crouched down and peeked out the door. Within moments Violet returned cradling something carefully to her chest. _

"_Are we clear?" she asked. _

_He nodded and they ran back to their hiding place. _

"_Can I see it now?" Jowan asked and reached out to unwrap it, but Violet slapped his hand. "Owe!" _

"_No, we have to get back to our quarters. The Templars are probably scouting now," she said and carefully placed the item into her small satchel. _

"_Fine," he frowned. _

_Getting back was a little trickier. The Templars were extra cognizant of their surroundings, so Violet had Jowan open the door for her to save a few seconds to cast her spell. They spotted a Templar about to inspect their room. Violet cast another sleep spell just as he was about to reach for the handle and they snuck back inside. _

_When the Templar came to and finally inspected the room Violet and Jowan were laying peacefully asleep in their respective beds. _

"_That was close," Jowan muttered when the Templar closed the door behind him. He rolled over to his side and gasped to find Violet already crouching next to his bed and digging through her satchel. "Maker, you're very adamant tonight. Will you tell me what this is about, already?" _

_Violet looked up and smiled at him. Carefully, she unwrapped the item and snapped her fingers so a tiny flame danced on her thumb. "Happy Birthday!" she said in an excited whisper and held out a small slice of cake to him and hovered her thumb over it. "Blow out the candle!" _

_Jowan gaped before sitting up. "It's not my birthday…" he said, but took the small plate. _

"_I know, but it's your favorite," she said, her excitement unwavering. _

"_What?" He looked down and inspected it closer using the small fire for light. "It's… chocolate raspberry?" _

"_Mhm!" She nodded. "Now make a wish!" she said, wiggling her thumb. _

"_But… how did you know it was there?" he asked bashfully. _

"_I overheard the Templars talking about it tonight. Now will you make a wish already? This is hot," she demanded playfully. _

_Jowan laughed. He couldn't understand why she would go through all that trouble (even more so if they got caught) just to give him a slice of his favorite cake. None-the-less, he humored her. He shook his head with a smirk and closed his eyes. _

What to wish for… _He thought for a moment. _What do I wish for? _He frowned_. I wish we were free.

_He blew the flame out and looked at Violet who smiled back at him with sad eyes. She knew what his wish was. Almost all the mages wished for the same thing. _

_Violet plopped down next to him and watched Jowan enjoy the first bite. He motioned the plate toward her and she gratefully tore a small piece for herself. _

"_Where would you want to go?" she asked as she licked her fingers. _

"_Anywhere…" Jowan replied sadly. _

_Violet nodded slowly. "Okay then," she said and lifted a pinky up to him. "Let's make a promise. When we are full mages, we'll join the Army, and see the world together." _

_Jowan smiled and wrapped his pinky around hers. As they continued to enjoy their cake he imagined the both of them roaming vast lands and colorful landscapes. _

"_Of course, we'll have to run a few errands along the way though…" Violet mused, interrupting Jowan's daydreams. _

"_Hm? Oh." He realized she was talking about 'him.' "You're still going on about that boy?" he asked with a frown. _

_There were many things he silently envied: her unnatural discipline and focus to study and excel so quickly in their class, her kindness, her humor, her charisma, but mostly he envied the little boy who stole her heart only after two years. She told many stories about him which he only half-listened to. Could he ever impress her as much as that boy did one day? _

_His jaw tightened. "You know, he abandoned you. Or did you forget that part?" _

_Violet paused midway to placing another chunk in her mouth. She looked at him with a frown. "He didn't abandon me. I know he heard me," she said, resting her hands on her lap. _

"_You think he heard you," he corrected. _

_She looked solemnly at her hands without another word. Jowan relaxed his demeanor with a sigh. He didn't mean to make her sad, but his frustration got the better of him. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have said that." _

_She nodded and managed a meek smile. "It's okay. You are right. I have no way of knowing if he heard me or not, or if he came for me or not…But that doesn't mean I can't hope." Violet looked up at him. Her eyes danced with what he knew as unyielding faith. _

_There was no point in trying. He had tried for years to change her mind and he grew to know Violet was sometimes as stubborn as a Revered Mother. He had no chance of winning her heart, but he could still win her admiration. _

One day,_ he silently vowed_, I will be even more powerful than you. Then maybe, you'll finally look at me with those same eyes… as someone more than a person to take care of… as more than just a sidekick.

* * *

><p>Jowan sighed angrily and ran his fingers through his hair. He let his hands rest on his head as he hung it low in shame. "Jowan, you fool," he muttered.<p>

Click, click, click.

"What-?" He looked up to look for the source of the strange noise.

A dark hooded figure was crouched at the base of the cell door intently picking at the lock.

"Who-?" Jowan started to ask in bewilderment, but the stranger quickly brought a finger to his lips to gesture his silence. Jowan sat there blinking dumbfounded.

"Why-?" he tried again to get some answers, but the figure huffed irritably and looked at him for a moment. The shadowed glare unnerved Jowan so he held his tongue. The stranger reached into his pocket, pulled out a note, and handed it to him before working the lock again.

Jowan was hesitant to read the note at first, but he found himself slowly unfolding it.

"Black S.," he muttered, reading the note out loud. "Temporary liars sleep." He gasped and felt the blood drain from his face and hands. He trembled. "Fly. Love, Purple B."

He let his hands fall into his lap and looked over to the figure. In that moment, the door squeaked open; the lock-picker stood up, and vanished into the shadows.

Jowan shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck shamefully. "You saved my sorry, undeserving ass again Violet…"


	18. Regret

**_A/N: _**_Sorry for the delay. I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays though. =) _

_Thank you Oberon Axelus, Leesey85, and Kirabaros for all the alerts, favs, and reviews! As always, thank you Brelaina for being my awsome beta reader. _

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><p><strong>CH. 18 Regret<strong>

Along the forest's edge, Zevran trailed the road leading to the village Violet indicated she would be at. Usually his saunter was light and haughty, but that day it slowed to a heavy trudge. He knew he had to hurry or otherwise risk missing the party and go through the tedious task of hunting them down again; yet, he hesitated.

Why go back at all? Though he made an oath of service to Violet, she kept dismissing it as such and insisted to treat him as a companion – not a servant. He just couldn't shake the thought from his mind, though. Wasn't he just another soldier recruited for the fray? Perhaps she felt having a protective friend was safer than having a captive enemy?

Zevran pulled and fidgeted with the backpack strap he hung on one shoulder. A new tent and a clean blanket were rolled snuggly inside. A few simple silver and gold necklaces softly bounced in a pouch of a neighboring pocket. Those were all gifts from her. Though for various reasons, they were gifts none-the-less. She didn't have to buy him a tent. She could have just as easily forced him to sleep on the cold hard ground without camping supplies at all; and the necklaces held no necessary value, but he did treasure them.

Was it all a ruse? She always left him in awe and silent surprise. Though he slowly grew to expect her hospitality, he still believed it was misplaced. She shouldn't trust a man like him, nor did he feel he deserved it.

The Crows clearly revealed that was the case: he was nothing and the world wouldn't miss his absence. Violet might, but he had no doubt that would eventually pass.

Zevran stopped and looked pensively into the brightening sky. The sun's rays were now peeking through the nearby mountain tops.

"Perhaps it is time to move on?" he asked out loud. "Surely, the Maker has not forgiven me already."

* * *

><p>"<em>Here are the instructions, though I'm sure you don't even need it," Violet smiled and placed a small piece of paper into his palm. "You found me once, after all." <em>

_Zevran closed his hand and leaned forward with a charming smile. "My Dear Warden, I will always find you." _

"_I better stay on your good side then," Violet teased and sat with her legs under her. _

"_You saved my life, Warden," he said calmly and reached for her hand. As he brought it to his lips, he said, "you have no reason to fear," and kissed it gently. _

_Violet took a measured breath and pulled her hand away uncomfortably. "Okay, that's good," she said and looked away shyly. _

_Zevran's smile remained and his eyes were ever-watchful. He noticed that the more advances he made toward her, the harder it was for her to keep a straight face. Her shyness was endearing and he found himself yearning for those cheeks to blush. Delicate, yet deadly – like poison; the more precise the craft and more rare the ingredients, the more potent it becomes. _

_Delicate. Deadly. Poisonous… love. It was too familiar. _

_It was too soon. _

_A sharp pain pierced his chest and for a second – just a second – he frowned. _

_He had to move on. _

"_Right; I believe I have everything I need for the journey," he said, straightening his posture. "You can count on me. Jowan will be a free man and I will be back before you know it." _

_Violet looked at him sternly and pointed a threatening finger. "Remember, no killing and don't say a word. Just give him the letter and leave. He'll understand what it says."_

_With a small bow he said, "as you wish, my dear." _

_Her lips curled and eyes softened. The hand that threatened him reached out to embrace him instead. She gave a small squeeze and whispered, "thank you, Zevran." _

_A woman's touch was not a new experience. Everyone knew that. Yet, he seldom had genuine experiences – ones that made his heart flutter and mind hazy. _

_It was happening again. Only one other person made him feel that way, but why now? Why her? _

_Was it more than just playful flirting? Or was he just falling in love with the challenge? He was the reason Alistair made advances, though. He encouraged the difficulty of intervention and sought ways to make it harder. Why? _

Because you do not deserve her, Zevran, _he thought as he took in her honey scent and slowly pulled away. _You do not deserve love.

_She exited his tent and returned to her spot for watch duty. He stared at the closed tent flap for a moment then turned to start packing. _

Besides, _he continued to think, _she is happily with the man of her childhood dreams…

* * *

><p><em>I fear I am about to regret this, <em>Zevran thought as he stood before a sentient apparition – the Guardian of Andraste.

Zevran took a half-day longer than planned to return to the group, partially hoping they'd decide to leave the trail cold and disappear. On the contrary, Violet stalled long enough to remain on the mountain top by conversing and trading with radical Andraste cultists (of all people). He was both amused and impressed that she managed to make a deal with them: taint the ashes for safe passage to the urn and gain additional power. It was unlike her character to make such a deal, yet, so was the thought of treason. He didn't know what to make of it.

That wasn't the issue at hand, however. It seemed the Guardian was intent on extracting their group's inner-most thoughts.

Violet looked at Zevran and he returned a nod. She smiled. It was sweet, yet sad. Turning back to the Guardian, she said, "do I think I failed Jowan?" She shook her head. "No, I've done all I can. His life is his own now."

Alistair frowned and looked on questioningly. Violet didn't seem to notice.

_Why does she wish to keep this a secret? _He wondered.

As expected, the line of questioning moved on to Alistair who replied honestly with remorse and self-pity. It was such a nuisance and a waste of time. He made that clear when the Guardian finally addressed him. "Oh, is it my turn now? I am so excited," he said sarcastically.

The Guardian began. "Many have died at your hand. But is there any you regret more than a woman by the name of-"

Zevran's ears perked and his eyes widened. "How do you know about that?" he interrupted.

"I know much," he answered calmly. "It is allowed to me. The question stands, however. Do you regret-"

"Yes. The answer is yes; if that's what you wish to know. I do. Now move on," he replied tersely. There was no way he would let him say her name. The chest ache returned. He crossed his arms to secretly suppress it and looked away, trying desperately to calm down. He wouldn't allow himself to lose his composure.

"The way is open," the Guardian addressed the whole party, seemly appeased by his response. "Good luck, and may you find what you seek." He faded with a burst of light and the double doors leading to the ashes slowly creaked open.

"Good riddance," he muttered and followed the party into the Gauntlet.

Eventually they came upon a giant hall with a wall of fire blocking them from advancing. Violet stepped up to an altar that sat a few meters before the flames and crouched down to read the description. A faint blush crept to her cheeks. He debated whether to look away and start heeding his reasons to ignore his growing desires, but his curiosity got the best of him. He was about to ask what was wrong, but Alistair beat him to it. Apparently, he was watching her just as closely.

She bit her lower lip nervously and stood. "We have to take off our armor and drop our weapons."

Zevran raised his eyebrows and noticed Alistair's face turn red too. Chocolate tilted his head to one side.

"We have to approach Andraste as peasants would – to show humility," she said, noticing the surprise and trying to regain her confidence. "Now, turn around and start taking your armor off." She waved her hands until both men were facing the door. "And don't look."

Zevran chuckled and gaily started taking his leather plates off. "Ah, Warden, why so shy? You should be proud of your body and flaunt it. It is so cruel of you to hide that beautiful figure from us."

"Hey!" Alistair huffed and moved toward Zevran menacingly. Zevran turned to face him, holding his ground. "There is no 'us,' Zevran; just me," Alistair said sternly.

"Are you insinuating that I have seen the Warden in her small clothes? If that is the case, unfortunately, you are mistaken," he laughed. Alistair really was bad with words sometimes.

This clearly riled him. "You know what I mean," he said, raising his voice.

"Guys, not now," Violet commanded irritably, but gained their attention in the process.

Zevran followed Alistair's now nervous gaze back to Violet and looked on pleasantly surprised. She had a petite figure, given her blood-line, but her curves weren't boney, as most Elven women were. For a moment, he forgot he was forbidden to look upon her, let alone allow his heart to flutter again. That was quickly corrected, though.

"Hey! I said turn around!" she yelled nervously and crossed her arms in a feeble attempt to hide herself.

Alistair promptly whipped around and blushed uncontrollably. He hadn't noticed Zevran's slower turn, nor (to Zevran's relief) did he notice his own tinted cheeks.

_Perhaps, I do not regret returning after all? _He thought, amused, and waited for her to give the all-clear sign.

* * *

><p>Zevran mulled over the events that had happened that day as he sat on a log near his tent; chin resting in his palm. <em>So, Violet is capable of double-crossing others, <em>he thought, subconsciously tapping his nose. _Interesting… _

In the corner of his eye he noticed Violet approach. "Dinner is ready, Zevran," Violet announced. He nodded and thanked her.

She started to return to the center of camp, but paused mid-way and turned back to him. "Zevran," she started to ask gently, "are you all right?"

He looked back at her bemused, and chuckled. "Why of course, Warden. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just… today, with the Guardian…" she started to say, but paused seeing as she didn't need to explain further. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Finally, he allowed her to see him frown. It was no trick, her concern was genuine (or so he let himself believe). She really did care about him and wanted to know if he was okay. It was at that moment he truly realized that she cared for all her companions, not just Alistair. She even stopped by Morrigan's tent now and then to chat; he could hear them laughing together sometimes.

He looked on her now with slight pangs of jealousy. She only (and always had only) had eyes for Alistair. There was never any confusion as to who her heart belonged to. It was time he bowed-out gracefully. He decided to fulfill his promise, to serve her and protect her, but once he was un-needed, he would travel again and take advantage of the new life she granted him.

In this life he had purpose and meaning. He was making a difference –he, a lowly and wanted assassin and his fellow group of outcastes and rebels. With each mission they were making a name for themselves. By the end of their journey, they would be regarded as heroes. He couldn't just throw that all away now.

_Rinna… _he finally brought up the courage to recall her name. _If there is anything I owe in this life, it is to repent for my sins. Where ever you are… I hope you will forgive me. _

"Perhaps I will tell you another time… I have a lot to think about," he said, finally. She nodded and smiled sweetly. He watched her walk away.

A few moments later he stood and walked over to Leliana who handed him his bowl of stew. "Leliana, might I ask a favor?"

"If it's to lick my spoon sensually when I'm done with dinner, the answer is 'no," she laughed.

Zevran was so serious about asking his question he was taken completely aback and laughed heartily. Oddly, her jest helped ease him and regain his relaxed demeanor. "No, no, not that… Though, if you said 'yes' I would not have objected." He winked. "But, seriously, I wanted to ask… if you could say a prayer before we feast tonight?"

The whole group was surprised by this request. Morrigan groaned in protest.

Leliana beamed. "My, looks like the trip to Andraste's ashes made a great impression on you."

He chuckled. "Perhaps," he said.


	19. Changes

_**A/N:**Warning: This chapter includes content slightly NSFW. It's the first time I've written about this kind of "stuff" and I'm a little shy about it. XD Please review on how I can improve. :) _

_Thank you Kirabaros, kdarnell2, Brelaina, and failusnot for your reviews and story alerts! As always, thank you Brelaina for your awsome beta-reading. _

_Enjoy! _

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><p><strong>Ch. 19 Changes<strong>

_Alistair dragged his feet along the dusty ground of the Deep Roads. His body felt heavy, yet light at the same time as if a mysterious force was pulling him deeper in. At first there was a faint ringing in his ears and then it grew louder and more melodic. A beautiful voice started singing and echoed off the cave walls. It was captivating. His head spun. He closed his eyes and let his feet drag him deeper and deeper along the road. _

I see you… _the sweet voice suddenly whispered. Alistair immediately felt a wave of anxiety overwhelm him and he jerked his eyes open. He gasped and jumped back as he realized he was literally a step away from falling into a dark abyss. His heart pounded and he looked around in confusion. The lovely voice grew raspy and more assertive. _You will be mine…

_Suddenly an eruption of flame blasted from the abyss accompanied by a thunderous roar that shook the tunnels and caused loose rocks to fall from the ceiling. It rang so loud Alistair had to cover his ears. He staggered backward in attempt to keep his balance. Seconds later, a gigantic dragon shot from the depths. The whirlwind knocked Alistair off his feet and landed him hard on his back. The dragon perched itself on the opposite side of the chasm and chuckled sinisterly. Its eyes locked onto Alistair's and it bore its sharp teeth before sounding off another roar that made Alistair's hair stand on end. It pounded his ear drums and caused the cave to violently shake again. _

"NO!" Alistair flung himself upright from his bedroll. His body was shaking and dripping in sweat despite the crisp evening air back on the surface. His heart pounded so hard his chest ached.

"What in Andraste's name was that?" he gasped, still trying to catch his breath.

Then, he heard Violet scream in the adjacent tent. _Oh no, _he thought and quickly crawled out of his tent. He thrust open Violet's tent flaps, and called out to her. Violet was sitting up and holding herself. Her head was slumped forward and her breaths were harsh. She lifted her head and the fear he saw in her eyes made his heart skip.

"It… it saw us, didn't it?" she choked.

But before he could answer her a loud high-pitch screech sounded in the near distance. "Come on!" he urged and put out his hand to assist her out of the tent. It seemed impossible to stop themselves from shaking as they attempted to gauge where the darkspawn was coming from. Meanwhile, the rest of the party had woken and quickly readied their weapons.

"They're surrounding us," Alistair announced, able to pinpoint their advance faster than Violet.

Just as he turned to reach for his sword, a shriek lunged toward him and swiped at his chest. He was able to dodge and roll toward his tent. He grabbed his sword and shield and thrust it forward in time to block the shriek's next incoming attacks. He kicked its abdomen and sent it staggering backward for a couple seconds, allowing Alistair to jump to his feet and ready his fighting stance. The shriek was relentless in its swipes, but he kept blocking and swinging. He knew if he let his guard down too soon, the shriek would tear at his exposed chest. All he needed was a good opening and he could pierce it through or slice it in half. The creature was fast though; really fast. There were moments he felt like all he was doing was blocking. The battle sounded around him and he could hear multiple shrieks attacking his companions. He desperately wanted to check on Violet, but he couldn't avert his concentration away from the darkspawn currently engaging him. He could still feel her, though (be it because of the taint or not, he still wasn't sure how it worked), and he could make out her battle cries now and then over the chaos. It eased his worry a bit.

He side-stepped another swipe and found the shriek's back exposed to him. Eagerly, he seized the opportunity and hacked at its back with powerful swings. The creature let out an agonizing screech and toppled forward. Alistair quickly searched for Violet as the creature lay motionless in its pool of blood. Violet had just finished freezing two shrieks in a cone of ice so he ran toward them at full speed and sliced at the second one, shattering it into tiny pieces and then quickly twisted around to slash at the first. Both creatures' ice fragments flew into the air and shimmered in the moonlight around him as they landed around his feet.

As quickly as it began, the sounds of battle peaked and returned to silence. Only the concerned mutters and heavy breaths of his companions sounded over his own ragged huffs. Not even the crickets chirped to ease the tense atmosphere. It wasn't safe anywhere anymore.

Zevran and Leliana hurried to their tents to grab and stake traps around the camp while Wynne and Morrigan worked to cast protective barriers. Alistair looked over at Violet who was staring intently at the ground. Her mind seemed to be focused on another world.

"Violet," he said softly and placed his arm gently around her to gain her attention. She flinched and snapped her head up in alarm.

"Oh, Alistair," she gasped, snapping out of her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" he asked and squeezed her tighter.

She looked down and held herself again out of habit. Alistair waited for her reply. "It… knows," she finally said. "Those shrieks were sent for us, weren't they?"

He sighed and fully embraced her. "I… don't know, Violet. What I do know is that we have to be extra careful from now on." He felt her nod. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He cradled her and stroked the back of her head.

She seemed so vulnerable at that moment and so small. It was then that he was rudely reminded that everything that they were going through had been thrust upon her. Violet was only 20 and spent half of her life confined within the Circle Tower. She was just discovering the very world she lived in, but at the same time forced to make decisions and attempt to convince armies to follow her command when called upon. Her knack for persuasion apparently convinced even him that she was equivalent to a veteran conqueror and knew exactly what she was doing. In reality, though, she was just as scared, confused, and unsure as he was.

He never wanted power. He never wanted to lead. And in that selfishness he forced that responsibility on Violet despite his seniority as a Grey Warden.

He was selfish and insensitive. Violet deserved someone who could stand beside her, not merely follow behind. She needed a partner, not a lackey. Sometimes – even now – she needed someone else to take control, rest her head, and help her stand again.

It was time he finally grew up.

He looked around and noticed the party just about finishing up their camp precautions and returning to bed.

"Violet," he whispered again. He felt her nod in response. "Come rest in my tent tonight so I can watch you. If you have nightmares again I'll be right there. Okay?"

There was a pause. Finally he felt her squeeze her arms tighter and felt another faint nod. He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Let's try to get some sleep." She nodded again.

He eased her to the side and walked her back to his tent. She crawled inside and curled up under the covers. Alistair slipped under the covers with her and cradled her. Her back was pressed against his chest. She rested a hand on his arm.

He nuzzled his nose into her hair and held her tight. It was almost surprising how easily she fit in his arms. It felt so natural for her to be there; so comfy. How he was able to sleep all these years without her perplexed him now. And despite the unnerving events that night, they slept better than they had in ages.

* * *

><p>They returned to Redcliffe where Eamon made a miraculous and speedy recovery and Alistair was once again forced to acknowledge his birthright. Violet listened carefully to Eamon's advice to place Alistair on the throne. He could tell she was searching for a way out – some alternative to their political predicament, but it all lead to the same conclusion. He couldn't help but protest at first. The idea of being king still gnawed at his stomach and made him feel nauseous. Eamon was right though, and Violet had searched for that alternative thoroughly. There seemed to be no other way.<p>

Days passed. Weeks passed. Diligently, they continued their mission to recruit allies across Ferelden. He followed Violet dutifully and loyally and watched as she took the lead. He wondered if eventually he should take over to at least familiarize himself with some leadership skills, but during a playful conversation with Violet he quickly admitted that taking command would result in the group getting lost, killed, and Alistair possibly waking in the middle of nowhere without pants. No, there never seemed to be a good opportunity for him to step-up. At least for now, he fulfilled the duties of a subordinate and was contented to simply observe his leader.

With his newfound determination to observe and learn, he did run into a realization he hadn't noticed before. In almost every quest, village, and city they encountered, he not only saw the leadership strength of his love, but the inequality and bigotry popularly practiced within the nation. He learned that mages felt like they were trapped in cages and constantly scrutinized and feared for their powers. The Dalish were feared as well, but used that reputation to their advantage in order to distance themselves from human intrusion. The Alienage elves were being sold into slavery and treated like animals. No, they were treated worse than animals. Dogs were given more respect than them. And to his surprise, even the Prince of Orzammar challenged the dwarves' centuries-old caste system. It seemed the whole nation was searching for a way to change these conservative views.

All the while he watched Violet, took note of her decisions, and thrust his blade at any who dared to make a slur. She consistently sided with those that were being wrongfully oppressed. With each location she attempted to bring justice all while battling her own projected obscurity. It was odd how much fear she could instill in her enemies with just the reputation of being a powerful Grey Warden mage. Had she been a regular elven woman from the Alienage her threats would have been completely ineffective. It was ironic. Her greatest hindrances were her greatest weapons and she utilized them masterfully.

Still, he noticed how fragile her esteem was and how her confidence was merely an act of intimidation. It wasn't fair. His heart wretched every time he saw her beautiful face sulk from a snarky remark; how she constantly averted her eyes from crowds because of how they glared as she passed; and how vulnerable she sometimes looked as she clung to his arm while they perused the stores in Denerim.

It had to stop. It had to change. And he could make it so.

It was then he decided to be the best Maker-damned King Ferelden had ever seen.

For Ferelden.

For Violet.

* * *

><p>The landsmeet was finally upon them. Their next journey was back to Denerim which was now only days away. The sky had darkened, the nights seemed unending, and more roads showed signs of battle and struggle from civil disputes to darkspawn attacks. Violet and Alistair could sense the darkspawn around them constantly and the physical destruction from their taint covered many of the nation's land.<p>

Their camp was set up along a rocky mountainside a little off the main trail. The surrounding trees had lost its leaves and were starting to rot. The nearby stream had an ominous dark tint. After watching Chocolate sniff and recoil from the stench they decided not to trust it and instead rationed out the rest of their water supply.

Alistair looked down at the murky water. It was just as he feared their world would turn into. The liveliness and beauty of their home was being sucked dry and on the verge of decay. It would be difficult to restore the land back to full health.

Spring was drawing near, but it still felt like the harsh tails of winter. Birds hardly sang anymore; children never laughed; more and more there were either screaming or complete silence.

"Mmmm… Looks good, huh?" Violet sighed joining him at the water's edge.

He chuckled, amused by her sarcasm. "Oh yes. Care to join me in a fresh pint?"

She scrunched her nose and shook her head.

He looked at her and felt his heart race again. Out of the gloomy setting, she seemed to shine. He couldn't stop admiring her natural glow. Unable to control himself, he reached out and held her.

"Are you alright, Alistair?" she asked concerned.

He sighed. "I just can't stop thinking about how beautiful you are."

She smiled. "This atmosphere doesn't exactly warrant a tender moment."

"No," he corrected. "This place makes your beauty stand out more."

They smiled and kissed each other sweetly. Alistair pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I… I guess I really don't know how to ask you this…" he started to say. He could feel his face grow warm and his nerves jumping in his stomach.

"Ask me what?" she asked and brushed the side of his hair.

"Oh, how do I say this?" he huffed and looked around again. Ugliness; everything was ugly, gloomy, dark, and rotten. But when he turned back to Violet, his heart soared and his insides melted. "You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you I feel like my head is about to explode. I can't think straight," he stammered and averted his eyes nervously.

"Well that's sweet," she said with an amused smile.

"Here's the thing…" he said, trying to regain his confidence. "Being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you. Not… ever… I don't know how to say this another way… I… want to spend the night with you. Here, in the camp. Maybe this is too fast. I… don't know… but I know what I feel."

"Tonight? Here?" she asked, looking around again a little confused.

Alistair shifted shyly and thumbed her shoulder. "I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place, but when will it ever be perfect? If things were we would have never been reunited. We sort of just stumbled into each other. And despite this being the last perfect time, I still found myself falling for you; in between all the fighting and everything else.

"I don't want to wait anymore," he continued. "I've… never done this before… You… you know that." He looked longingly into her eyes again and placed a hand on her cheek. "I… want it to be with you… while we have the chance… in case-"

"Don't talk like that," she interrupted him and caressed him back. "There will be time later."

"Will there? You don't know that. I don't know that." He brushed her bangs from her eyes. "I… want to be able to say that I threw caution to the wind at least once."

She smiled timidly and looked back at the camp. Their companions were already settled and finished their precautionary rounds. Leliana and Zevran were chatting by the fireside with Chocolate. She looked back and nodded meekly.

"Yes… I'd like that," she whispered.

He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned in to kiss her. "So would I, my love."

* * *

><p>Alistair marveled at every inch he uncovered. He caressed her arms and dainty hands. Her legs were toned, her cheeks smooth, and her lips soft. He wanted to be gentle, slow, and careful. Their faces were both extremely red and their movements were hesitant. Before they moved they looked at each other to silently give permission.<p>

There were a couple nods and nervous laughs, but eventually they found themselves completely pressed against each other under the covers and kissing passionately. They glided their hands over as much skin as they could reach and ran their fingers through each other's hair. Their embrace was tight and their legs intertwined. The more they kissed the more they wanted to be closer, to feel one another, to give in and their whole selves up to the other. Alistair nibbled her ears, kissed her neck, and trailed along her body as not to miss a single inch. Their breaths grew ragged and the tent felt hot.

He slid back up and hovered over her, kissing her hungrily from their months of distance. He could feel their hearts beating in rhythmic unison. Alistair couldn't take it. He had to feel her and be closer to her than he had ever been with anyone. He silently begged with eager eyes. She nodded.

It was a completely new sensation that caught them both by surprise. They gasped and held each other tightly. He quickly looked back at her to see if she was alright. To his delight Violet grabbed him and kissed him fervently. She was okay – more than okay.

He continued to rock, slowly at first, getting used to the new motion. A couple stifled moans escaped Violet's lips and she buried her face in his chest to quiet herself. They didn't want to make too much noise and were still embarrassed that their companions were in such close proximity. Gradually he gained speed and momentum. His body tingled and they were drenched in sweat. The tingling was growing more and more prominent. He couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to stop.

He cried out Violet's name and kissed her with as much passion as he could display. Alistair wanted to show her just how much he loved her. A few more thrusts and Violet pulled her head back, forcing back a loud moan. She tightened her legs around him and he could feel her pulse with ecstasy. It made him gasp and his head spin. His face was flushed and his legs were shaking. He could feel her get tighter, squeezing him, begging for his release.

She wanted it. He wanted it. He wanted to give himself to the fullest extent.

"Alistair," she whimpered between pants.

That was it. His heart, his whole body fluttered, tingled, and he finally released. The rush he felt was better than he had ever imagined. It was so intense that his arms and legs could barely continue to support his weight.

A few moments later he gently laid on top her, kissed her cheek, and took in her scent. They panted, exhausted by the exertion and unable to do more than continue to peck little kisses here and there.

"I love you," he whispered, still in awe and blissfully happy.

"I love you," she replied breathlessly.

Neither wanted to move for fear of reality forcing them to separate and move along their quest again. For now, they took in the moment, their moment, for as long as they could.


	20. Legacy

_**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait again, but here it is, THE FINAL CHAPTER!_

_Thank you so much for all your reviews, faves, and alerts! I had a great time and definately feel like I grew as a writer._

_I hope you enjoyed the read as much as I enjoyed writing it and sharing it with all of you._

_I have read all your comments and taken them to heart. (I mostly haven't responded because I don't exactly know how... lol). I apologize for not including or incorporating everything in the DA universe within the series, but maybe my future works will "fill in the gaps" for those interested. _

_For those hungry for just a little more, be on the lookout for a special one-shot update as a sequel/alternative ending to this series._

_Also, just reminding you the comic version of this fan fiction is on my deviantart account (TalonDragon000). _

_Special thanks to Brelaina for being my AMAZING beta reader, for being so prompt and thorough in your responses and encouraging in your reviews. I'm so grateful for having the opportunity to work with you. _

_~Enjoy! ^_^_

* * *

><p><strong>Ch. 20 Legacy<strong>

She knew it would happen and mentally prepared herself for days. It was expected; almost inevitable, yet her whole body shook and she stood rooted to the stone floor.

It was not because Loghain's blood splattered and glistened on Alistair's royal armor; not because it now soaked the knees of Anora's gown. Death was never an easy thing to witness, but this was expected and a part of their mission. Duncan and the rest of the Grey Wardens were rightfully avenged.

It wasn't even the moment Eamon announced Alistair as King. Eamon was intent on making it so from the very beginning. Of course he would be quick to place Alistair on the throne. He didn't know about Violet's promise to support Anora as queen. She had given Alistair a way out so the burden could be lifted from them. There was no need to force him on the throne anymore. It was what they wanted.

No, it was just when Violet was about to protest that it happened: Alistair – confident and unwavering – quickly accepted his birthright for all of Ferelden to know.

No whining. No protest. No fear.

Instead, his eyes were determined and his presence was that of… a king.

"Wh-what!" Violet's voice finally cracked. "Alistair," she said softer to attempt to regain her demeanor, "I thought you didn't want to be king?"

His eyes softened, but his posture remained tall. "I thought so too, but I've been thinking. I could do a lot of good for Ferelden and it's time I grew up. I'm not a child anymore." He completely turned to face her. His face was serious again. "I'm a Grey Warden. And now, I'm King."

She stepped forward and started to whisper, "But Alistair, we could give the throne to Anora. She can rule Ferelden and after the Blight we can go on our way; do what we want; travel. We can create a new life for ourselves. Isn't that what you want?"

Alistair reached for Violet's hand and caressed it with his thumb. He admired it as he spoke, "I want to be with you, love… but there's no way in the Fade I'd give Anora the throne."

When he looked back at Violet she could see there was no way to change his mind.

* * *

><p>Violet held herself and glared at the flames dancing in the fireplace. She and the rest of the party were instructed to wait for Alistair in the dining hall, but Violet rushed to the living room instead. How could she face him now? What was there to say?<p>

_What happened to him? _She thought angrily. Her mind was reeling. _He chose to be king… instead of being with me? Even though I gave him a way out… _She looked at the palm he held a moment ago. Electricity sparked on her fingertips. She was starting to lose control.

Sorrow soon swept over her as another thought emerged. "Was I… not good enough?" she whispered. The sparks flicked brighter and faster.

"Of course that isn't it, Violet." Violet jumped and quickly turned to find Alistair standing behind her. She was so lost in thought she didn't hear or sense him come in.

His eyes were soft, but again, he carried himself like a noble. He was fitting into his new role almost effortlessly.

She choked, trying to find her voice again. "What then? What made you change your mind?"

He stepped forward and reached out to caress her face, but she pulled away awaiting his reply. He sighed. "You, my love; you told me I should start standing up for myself. And you are the one who does just that every day against the injustice of your gender, race, and… gift."

He knew she still didn't understand by the way she tilted her head. It wasn't the cute tilt she normally did, but there it was; spiteful.

"I am doing this for you, love; to make a better world for you," he continued. "Under Anora's rule, who knows what injustice she would continue to allow, just like her father did before her? In all these years she's been Queen, there were no movements for change. But, I've seen first-hand what this country is like and I have a vision of what this world could be. I'm given a chance to make those reasons so many were ridiculed a thing of the past. I could make a better future for you."

"My future means nothing if you aren't in it!" she screamed. Her hands clenched tightly to her sides. "You know what it means to be king. That's why you're here, isn't it? You need a human Heir and I can't be queen. To take this role you've chosen the throne and Ferelden over us!"

Alistair finally let his shoulders droop. He didn't know what to say.

Her fists gleaned a vibrant purple. Her heart raced. "Thought so," she snarled. "Well, King or not, I'm not going to lose you again!"

He frowned, taken aback by her outburst. How was she supposed to do that?

"There has to be a way…" Violet continued, much softer this time, but just as determined. "You're the king now… Can't you do something?"

That's right; he was so focused on a better future that he didn't realize what it was he was willing to throw away in the process. He had never give the future much thought until the Blight began and even then he didn't want to examine it too closely for fear of losing the precious moments of the present. The past few days, however, he mistook goals and duty as the only things to consider. His motivation was for her, yet he ignored her feelings. The oppression and prejudice made him lose sight of what it was they already had and cherished.

"You're right…" he started to say softly. Violet watched him carefully. "I am the king." He straightened up again. "But I don't want to lose you Violet."

He reached for her again. This time, she didn't move away. His arms pulled her close and he squeezed her tightly. "I vowed to protect you and I intend to do so. That never changed. I will stay by your side, but that may mean facing more hardship."

Her eyes started to water. She was confused. He gave in too easily. "You mean, denouncing the throne?"

"No," he said calmly, "Like I said, I won't give it up to Anora, but that doesn't mean we can't be together." He looked down at her sadly. "Love, I'll leave it up to you. I will still need an Heir, but will you stay with me?"

She frowned. "As… what exactly?"

She could tell he was struggling to find the right words. "As… my love."

"You mean mistress?" she asked bitterly.

"I know it's not the fairytale ending you were hoping for, love. But, this way we can be together."

A spark returned to Violet's eyes. "My name is already tarnished by my race and talents… Adding mistress to that list…" She sighed.

"No, I will make sure you're remembered as a hero and as the love of my life; nothing less."

"…It will take a while for everyone to think of me that way."

"It will take a while for everyone to accept the many changes I have in mind, period," he replied bluntly.

She looked at him suspiciously. "You aren't going to turn into a tyrant… are you?"

He frowned but soon chuckled in that boyish way she hadn't heard for days. "Me? You think I could be a tyrant?"

A smile finally crept to her lips. "No. Never."

* * *

><p>"<em>Roooaaaarrr!" Alistair stood with his toy dragon and wiggled it in Violet's face. "I'm going to eat you!" <em>

_Violet screamed and ducked her head into her hands. "Alistair, stop it! It's scary. I don't want to play anymore!" She swatted the doll out of his hand. _

"_Hey!" He ran over to pick it up and turned to scold her but noticed she was still hunched over. She was petting her princess doll's hair and sniffling. _

She's such a cry baby… _he thought a little irritably. He couldn't stay mad at her, though. It was his fault she was crying after all. Of course, he wasn't going to apologize outright, but he had to make her feel better somehow. _

_He looked around and spotted her prince doll on the floor. _

"_Aha! Foul demon! How dare you make my princess cry!"_

_Violet wiped her eyes and turned around slowly, curious to see what he was doing. _

_Alistair made a tiny stick sword and was pretending the two toys were in an epic battle. "This is for my princess!" he cried and thrust the stick at the dragon. "You can't defeat me!" he growled and wiggled the dragon around. He moved the dragon to make it look like it was flying through the air. _

"_Oh no! The dragon is going to eat you, prince!" Violet cried totally engrossed in Alistair's world of make-believe. _

_He smiled. _She stopped crying, _he thought happily. "Stay back my fair maiden, I will save you!" The dragon started to descend toward the prince. _

"_Watch out! It's swooping!" she warned, wiggling her princess character as well. _

"_Hyaahhh!" he cried and made his prince leap to unnatural heights to avoid the creature's attack. "Hyah, hyah, hyah!" he yelled again while stabbing the dragon multiple times with his sword. _

"_No!" the dragon wailed and Alistair tipped him over with a pitiful, "ugghhhh…" _

"_Yay! You killed it!" Violet stood and started jumping for joy._

"_Of course I did. I'm a prince!" Alistair beamed with pride and stood in a victorious pose. _

_Violet crouched near the dragon and tapped it. "No swooping for you," she reprimanded. _

"_Yeah," he added, "because swooping is bad." _

* * *

><p>"Alistair!" Violet yelled as a group of darkspawn began swarming him.<p>

Though accustomed to taking on multiple opponents at once, this time there were twice as many as he was used to. One of the creatures finally bludgeoned him on the back of the head and knocked him to the ground.

"No!" she cried and directed her ice attack toward the group, freezing them in place long enough for Alistair to get back on his feet. He shook his head and noticed the villains' stiff-glistening bodies and quickly seized the opportunity to hack away and eliminate half of them. Now he was back at a fighting chance.

Violet sighed with relief and returned her efforts toward the Arch Demon.

Gigantic. She couldn't believe how huge the dragon was. Morrigan's mother looked like a dwarf compared to the former God. Every time it roared it sent shivers down her spine. It took almost all her willpower and courage not to succumb to the thoughts of defeat. Never in all their time together was she more grateful for her allies and friends until that day. They willingly and openly pledged their allegiance and their lives to their new king. To the Grey Wardens. To her.

Parting with most of her companions back at the gate was one of the hardest moments of her life. She prayed to the Maker that they were alright.

She glanced back to check on the rest of the fleet.

Leliana was busy shooting and repairing the ballistae. Morrigan managed to summon a vapor of entropic energy around the dragon. The remaining allies rotated among themselves to recoup, tend the wounded, and fight with all their strength against the Arch Demon. It was chaos, but they were one; and they moved with a sense of purpose, pride, determination, and unity.

What was wrong with her? How could a war stimulate such beautiful thoughts?

It was because of their unity; that sense that no matter what race, age, or gender they were; no matter what talent or skill they had, they were brothers and sisters of Ferelden.

* * *

><p>The battle raged on. Her mana was draining fast from the massive spells she tried to maintain. Their limited supply of potions was quickly emptying. The horde of darkspawn seemed relentless. How long had they been fighting? Time was lost to her hours ago.<p>

Corpses were piling by the minute. Some were comrades; some enemy.

Yet, all bled, bruised, and moaned in agony.

The old God did too. It was no longer immortal. The God bled. The God bruised. The God roared and wailed.

With every scream, Violet grew more eager and confident that the end was nearing.

In fact, she saw it. Leliana fired another round from the ballista and knocked it across the dragon's head. It moaned and lost its balance. The monster fell to its elbows and knees. The elves noticed the signs of weakness and sent a rain of arrows. The mages sent a flurry of attacks and the dwarves and Redcliff soldiers did their best to slash at its legs. Its head started drooping.

The darkspawn noticed their God's distress and grew more agitated and aggressive. She sensed their desperation.

The creatures slowly started to regain the advantage. The men were suppressed and the volley of arrows was waning. The ballistae finally broke and the magic was thinning.

They had to end it now. She looked toward Alistair. He was still preoccupied with his own continuous group of darkspawn.

"…Only a Grey Warden can kill the Arch Demon," she repeated out loud. The instruction was given to Alistair and herself the night before the battle by Orlesian Grey Warden, Riordan. A flash of Riordan's unfortunate demise flashed through her mind.

She and Alistair were the only ones left.

The demon had to die.

It had to end now.

_But, whoever kills the Arch Demon will die as well, _she thought. Her stomach churned.

She looked on to Alistair with a heavy heart. She felt faint. All those years she longed to find him. All those months she fought beside him. All those days they exchanged words, looks, and kisses. All those nights they confirmed their love.

And in one day, she would lose it all.

She faced the dragon again, trembling, short of breath, and eyes watering. Her head pounded and tears finally slid down her cheeks.

She had to calm down. Her magic wouldn't summon correctly if she lost focus.

She flicked her wrist and tried to concentrate her mana, but it was no use. Her body was defying her. It was fighting her. It didn't want her to continue.

Yet, a sword near the demon's feet glistened in the firelight.

She had no choice.

In ragged breaths she used all her will to gather the sword and run toward the dragon. Her chest pounded and ached. It was hard to breath and she felt like she was on fire.

But, she continued to run. She continued to pierce through the creature's chest and slide the sword down to its belly. She continued to climb on top of it like a desperate wild woman and with a cry that echoed her fear, love, regret, pride, and sorrow all at once, stabbed it through the head.

In that moment, a beam of amazingly bright light flooded out of the wound. She squinted her eyes and wanted to pull away, but her hands were frozen to the weapon. Some sort of force now fused her to the dragon, taint and soul united through the vessel of the iron sword. She tried to scream, but no words formed. Her voice was lost. The sounds of battle were starting to fade.

_Forgive me Alistair, my love… _Violet prayed.

Alistair's frantic cries were useless.

He tried to run to her, to stop her, save her, but within seconds the light receded and shot out with such a force that it knocked Violet off of the dragon. Her hand was finally freed from the metal conduit. But in the instance her body departed… so did her soul.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Maker, <em>

_It was a hard thing to witness. _

_Alistair screamed at the top of his lungs and cradled Violet close to his chest. He cried and called out her name until his voice grew hoarse and he could no longer speak. I tried to console him, but he shook me away and ignored my words. In his desperation he tried to use his status as king to order all the mages to heal her. They tried to convince him she was lost, but he refused to listen and ordered them to fetch Wynne from the front gates. While he waited her arrival, he rocked and petted her head as if nurturing a babe. _

_Violet grew cold and pale under his embrace. When Wynne finally arrived the darkspawn were either long gone or dead. _

_The war may have ended and the battle won, but it was not a day for celebration. _

_To the few of us that called her a friend, a sister, a lover, we hung our heads low and wept. _

_Alistair refused to move all night. He kept saying he didn't want to leave her side. _

_We didn't know what to do. He wouldn't let go and he couldn't leave. _

_Eventually, Wynne told him he was king now and had to act like one. She said that now that the blight was over he had to address to his people, accept what happened, and mourn in private. I always thought of her as a practical and wise woman, but she was not unkind. She suggested holding the most elaborate funeral Ferelden had ever seen and praise Violet as the Hero of Ferelden. That with her death he could better convince the people of equality among the races, classes, and mages; to treat her as an inspiration for generations to come._

_Finally, Alistair stood. Violet hung limp in his arms. He silently carried her all the way down the tower and wouldn't stop or let anyone aid him. He ignored everyone's cheers and questions and with glazed eyes moved like a mindless spirit. He didn't stop until he reached the castle in Denerim and laid her down on his bed. He knelt on her bedside and rested his forehead on her frozen hand. It was then he finally told the nearest guard to "prepare the funeral" and remained silent until the ceremony. _

_It really was a magnificent affair. His coronation preceded the funeral so when he addressed the crowd, it was as their official king. He remained somber and looked like he hadn't slept in days. Though he stood tall I could see the pain in his eyes. He was a man with a broken heart and a broken spirit, but in his despair he touched the hearts of every Ferelden. He spoke of Violet in the highest praise, declared the Circle of Magi free, and announced further changes to accept the elves of the land. _

_It was a call to action. He took Wynne's advice to heart and vowed his reign to seek peace and rebuild the country to its former glory. _

_The people were sympathetic, moved by his sincerity, and deeply grateful to the Warden's sacrifice. _

_Since then our group has disbanded, Alistair is busy making his promise a reality, and I'm traveling throughout Thedas to spread Violet's legacy. _

_We owe it to her to remember her in all her glory. _

_And as the Wardens proclaim at the start of their joining – and as Alistair began his speech before her golden coffin: _

"_Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you." _

_Blessed Maker, please care for her. And I hope Alistair can accomplish his mission. Maybe then, we will be worthy enough to gain your forgiveness. _

_Forever faithful, _

_Leliana. _


	21. ALT Ending: Resurrection

**A/N **Here it is, the ALTERNATE ENDING! I decided to place it with the rest of the story.

Thank you EVERYONE for your reviews, faves, and alerts. You've all motivated me to keep trucking along to make this my first fanfic to actually be written to completion.

This may be the end of "Remember Me," but hopefully this isn't the end of Violet's story (now that my ALT ending is up :D ).

~ Please enjoy! ^_^

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><p><strong>ALT ENDING: Resurrection<strong>

_It's so dark and cold… I can hardly breathe… I feel like I'm suffocating… Maker, where have you taken me? _

"Hurry and lift it. She will wake soon."

"Don't you have a spell for this or something?"

_I hear voices… Is it the dead?_

"Umph! Almost…"

_There's a small light above me now. It's getting bigger. Are you opening your doors for me, Lady Andraste? _

"Can you not go any faster?"

"Braska, woman!"

_I feel the air coming in. I feel the warmth of fire. …Is that you looking down at me? My vision is still blurry… No… these are calloused hands… Have you sent an angel? _

"She is still cold, but… I feel a pulse! It is… very faint…"

_I'm… floating. You are taking me into your arms? Can I not walk on my own? I suppose the transition takes a while…_

"We need to sneak her into the castle. 'Tis too soon for everyone to know. We need to get our story straight."

_Castle? Are you taking me to the Black City? _

"Hurry now lest the guards catch us."

_This… smell… It's familiar… These arms… so comfy. My vision is returning. I wish I could see your face, Angel._

"'Tis clear. Let's go."

_Why am I still so tired; so weak? Did the battle drain me this much? _

"Set her down while I get Alistair. Do not let anyone in until I get back."

_A-Alistair! …No… I-It must be a different Alistair… He didn't… he didn't… _

"Oh! Warden! Hah… Your eyes are open. C-can you hear me?"

_I can hear you, Angel. I'm starting to see your long golden hair now. Please… tell me Alistair is alright… _

"Ugh… I wish Morrigan would hurry up… I'm here, mi amor."

_Wait… His accent… Z… Z-Zevran?_

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><p>"I thought you disappeared after the battle?" Alistair sneered without looking up at her. His gaze was intently focused on the dancing flames of the fireplace. His body ached for a certain warmth and comfort, but the fire gave neither. Even the rising heat on his face from seeing Morrigan was different and unwelcome.<p>

"The ritual is not complete," she said sternly with her arms crossed.

He felt his anger rising.

"Ritual!" he snapped and jumped from his chair. He glared and clenched his fists, eyes piercing at her full of regret and hate. "Are you trying to tell me the ritual will work this time if I offer myself to you AGAIN? I may be a fool, but I won't be tricked again. Get out!"

She remained calm, and evenly replied, "The ritual won't work because Violet needs to be called back. I've done my part, but your part 'tis not over. Now quit babbling like an idiot and come with me."

"What are you talking about?" He fought to understand her. His head was starting to spin.

"Will you just shut up and follow me? Violet is waiting for you and we only have a small window to call her back."

Morrigan turned and headed out of the room.

Alistair was shaking. He felt frozen. His heart hammered. "Is she… really waiting for me? Is it… not over?" he whispered.

He had to move. He had to find his strength and go to her. _Go to her! _

One step and then another. He found his pace quicken. Finally, he couldn't hold back. He sprinted past Morrigan.

"She is in your room!" she directed him as he rounded the corner.

_Violet… I'm coming! _

He burst his room doors open to find Zevran leaning at his bedside… holding Violet's hand.

There it was – the warmth he was searching for. It spread through his body like a tidal wave. He thought he would fall over. No, he had to go to her. He was so close.

He gulped and watched the rest of the scene in a daze. Zevran stood to let him sit next to her. Her hand was still so cold, like ice. But her eyes, they were open, her breath was thin, and her pulse was faint. She was holding on… she was still fighting…

"Violet…" he choked, feeling his throat swell and his eyes water. "I'm here, Violet."

"Good, now kiss her," Morrigan said bluntly as she finally entered the room.

"W-what?" he looked up confused. It wasn't a sweet tease that Leliana would say when he and Violet were flirting. This was a command.

"Stop questioning me and just do it, you idiot, before 'tis too late," she scolded and glared at him.

"Oh, r-right, the ritual," he said, snapping back into reality. He didn't understand how this would all work out, but Violet was at least breathing thanks to Morrigan. There was no reason to question her now…

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><p>Violet felt Alistair lean in and gently kiss her lips. They tingled and sent shivers down her body. She no longer felt cold, but numb. The prickles were getting sharper as all the nerves in her body woke up all at once. Suddenly, her body felt warm… too warm…<p>

It burned.

She took in a deep breath and the air stung her lungs. Her mouth was dry and she began coughing. She had to close her eyes to bring back the moisture in her lids. Her lips were so chapped she thought she could feel small spots of blood trickling from the cracks.

"Alistair, get her some water!" Morrigan ordered. Violet heard her hurry over and she could feel a coolness emanating from her body. It hovered closer and lingered over her now. It was as if Morrigan was incasing her in a shell of ice.

"Quickly!" she yelled again. The bed creaked and footsteps faded out of the room.

"Do not panic, Violet. Be still and let your body waken," Morrigan said softly and… motherly?

She couldn't stop coughing. Her throat was too dry. It prevented her from catching enough air. She was choking. She shivered. The shell was too cold now. _Maker, help me! _

Morrigan dissipated the ice form and stepped back. Moments later, Alistair returned with a cup and sat back beside her.

"Here, love. Drink," he said lovingly. With one hand, he sat her up and with the other he tilted the glass and poured the water into her mouth.

The water was cool and refreshing. She salivated and felt her throat moisten. Panting, she caught her breath and licked her chapped lips.

"Good, love. Here, drink some more," Alistair sighed in relief and carefully tilted the cup again.

He repeated until the cup was empty and sat it down on the bed table. "Can… can you open your eyes for me, love?"

She swallowed hard and hesitated. Her eyes stung so much a little while ago. It was a little frightening to open them again now. Yet, she wanted to see him. She wanted to see all of them.

It was slow and painful. At first, the sequence was a series of squinting and tightly closing her eyes again. Finally she managed to peek with at least one eye. It was still blurry, but she could see them. Zevran. Morrigan.

Alistair.

She smiled and attempted to keep both eyes open at least halfway. Swallowing hard again and taking a deep breath, she whispered, "…Alistair…"

He laughed and grinned in that boyish way she loved… and cried. "Yes, love. I'm here." He said and leaned in to hold her tight in his arms. He nestled his face into her shoulder and stroked her hair. He slightly rocked her back and forth, repeatedly whispering, "I'm here, love, I'm here."

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><p><em>It was a little tricky figuring out a way to explain what happened to me to everyone. Alistair and Morrigan told me that they conducted a ritual the night before we battled the arch demon. They didn't go into details, but I don't need to know. I am just grateful to be alive. <em>

_I am a little sad that Morrigan had to leave so soon after I woke, though. I feel like I still need to thank her properly._

_Since then, it feels like my life turned into a fairy tale. I'm still in a daze. _

_Alistair and I have spent every day together at the castle. Oh… I mean, King Alistair. It still takes a bit to get used to calling him that. _

_I wonder how long Arl Eamon will let us be together. 'The King' is refusing to find a queen right now, which is perfectly fine by me. Eamon, on the other hand, thinks our relationship is risky. But, for now, Alistair thinks the people won't mind, especially because I'm 'Hero of Fereldan' and all… _

_Heh… 'Hero of Fereldan.' I can't get used to that either. It sounds so official. I'm used to glares, crude jibes, and occasional fights. But this? Everyone in Fereldan… is showing me respect now. It's different… but nice… and refreshing. _

_Alistair even told Eamon he would make me his consort one day. Eamon had a fit about the political technicalities and consequences and blah blah blah. Alistair just laughed and we went into town to get some drinks. For a king, he's awful casual around his subjects. I suppose the homely chantry boy in him isn't going anywhere for a while. _

_I truly am blessed. Andraste must be watching over me. Which reminds me, I should write to Leliana soon. It's been a while since I've heard from her. _

_I wonder what she's been up to... _


End file.
